CANCER FREE

GUESS WHAT !!!!!

IT IS OFFICIAL

I AM CANCER FREE

wanted to share that I had my scan on Monday evening and found out on Tuesday that I will not be needing anymore rounds of radiation -- PRAISE GOD!! -- they didn't see anymore areas of concern so now we will start the process of just getting my body regulated on thyroid replacement medication.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support- it means so much more than you could ever know -

God is SO AWESOME and I know that HE not only HEARS but HE ANSWERS PRAYERS as well. Please pray for the regulation of the medication, the sale of our home, and most importantly the reuniting of our family!

THANK YOU FOR CELEBRATING THIS WITH ME!!!!

MANY BLESSINGS
Shawnna

HOME :)

My honey is back at home and all is right with the world again.

Now it really feels like HOME again.

Open House

Saturday
:( today's open house was a BUST -- I was really hoping I would come home to at least ONE contract. Maybe I am just too optomistic. I am trying to be patient but I am missing my husband more and more with every passing second.

We are going to do another OPEN HOUSE next SUNDAY NOVEMBER 11 from 1-4 - so if you know anyone in the Houston area who is looking to buy a house please let me know.


Friday
had one showing - the garage couldn't accomodate their vehicle :(
other than that I just cleaned house for the OPEN HOUSE and took Makenna to dance.

Thursday
My mom had to go back to Oklahoma today :( Missing her already. My brother locked the keys in his car and my mom had his spare set in her purse - it wasn't that big of a deal because she was going to leave on Friday or Saturday anyway but being the "planner" that I am it sort of threw me off a bit - We were able to squeeze in a few hours of shopping before she left -- I love to window shop with my mom - :) :) :) -- It will be nice to live closer to her and spend more time with her.

10-26 thru 10-31

OK -- so here is yet another CATCH UP POST FROM ME -- I must be the worst blogger alive .... maybe not the worst but at least I have a good excuse this time ;) :D :P

10-26 Friday until 10-28 Sunday -- still had the yuckies - not sure if it was from the radiation or just some random stomach thing ??? thank goodness my momma is here - I have been SLEEPING all the time -- She must be bored to death -- She has taken the kids to Target a few times and of course to the Dollar Tree (they had $2.00 a piece from recycling cans)

Sunday afternoon Kenneth came over and did pumpkins/jack o' lanterns with the kids they had a good time - Noah wanted nothing to do with cleaning out the inside of the pumpkin :D ;) to slimy for him

10-29 - Monday -Heath called - he was in San Antonio for a business training - I drove out to see him (only about 3 hours) VERY SPUR OF THE MOMENT -- literally decided to do it in about 30 minutes and within an hour of him asking me to come (5:30pm) I was gassed up and on the road - I felt so guilty about not being able to bring the kids along (school and stuff) but it was so nice to be able to just be with my husband. Lucky for me my mom was here and willing to take care of my kiddos for me - She ROCKS!!!

10-30 Tuesday - Spent the day in San Antonio with Heath and he changed his flight until Wednesday so we could have another night together - We went to the RIVER WALK - very romantic at night - Had dinner outside and then headed back to the hotel -

10-31 Wednesday - Dropped Heath off at the airport in San Antonio and drove back to Houston - Shopped a bit with my mom and then it was time to get the kids off the bus and before we knew it it was time to get them ready to go trick or treating - We went with Melissa and her crew - the kids made out like bandits this year - this was the first year that they didn't go to 5-6 houses and want to stop -- I am sure it helped that they were with a group of kids -- They had such a great time ---

Makenna was Cleopatra and Noah was Ash (a Pokemon Trainer)

back again

just to say that I MISS YOU BABE - isn't that pathetic -- I know I can be TOO MUCH at times but I want to call and tell him but he has such a HUGE day tomorrow that I don't want to disturb him

I can't sleep - never imagined I would be going to bed all alone on our 10 year anniversary


- ok - so enough is enough I am putting on my "BIG GIRL PANTIES" as my friend Molly would say - I am going to suck it up - stop my whining and just shut down the pc - turn off the lights and just go to be already - I can do this....... right

peace out ;)
Shawnna

the yucky side of it all

so here is my little grip session
- just to keepin' it real -

• I really don't like nausea
• but I like diarrhea even less

oh and ......

• FAKE PEOPLE REALLY GET ON MY NERVES

that's is all I am saying - now I am going to follow that up with some positives

• Round One of Radiation is OVER!!! (praying there is no need for round 2)
• We had our first showing on the house while I was in the hospital - and though there was no offer - we got some great feedback
• My mom is here :D :D :D
• My kids are coming home tomorrow - and though i have to stay 6 feet away from them I am just so thankful to have them back at home :D :D
• Heath is COMING HOME on the 4th -- I totally can't wait!!!!
• Ashlee didn't have her baby last night - I really want her to wait until I get to Oklahoma so hopefully God will sell this house quickly :)

10-25 IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY

HAPPY 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY HONEY!!!!
I LOVE YOU and CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU!!!
COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS!

10-24 I AM FREE

First and foremost I just want to PRAISE GOD - Not only did he bring me home safe and sound from the hospital but I was able to come home a day early -- I like to think I was paroled early for good behavior ;) but I am CERTAIN it has something to do with all of you prayer warriors -- THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Not feeling WONDERFUL but at the same time not feeling as bad as I thought it could be. Having a few issues with eyesight and lots of muscle spasms but that is due to my TSH being so high and not due to the radiation.

They put me on two different thyroid medications to try to bring my TSH level up faster - I may/may not be going to the endochrinologist tomorrow? But the next BIG THING will be my total body scan on Nov 5th - this will tell them

1. if any thyroid cells are left - if so we will do more radiation
2. if there is any cancer anywhere else in my body

So please pray for those things specifically as well as for my entire family.

THANK YOU :D

Shawnna

Solitary Confinement ;) TAGGED and SHOUT OUT TO K

So I am running around today like a chicken with its head cut off doing all those last minute things that one "remembers" that need to be done before I head off to what I am currently referring to "solitary confinement" (although it sounds like a punishment one gets while misbehaving in prison - I like it better than Radiation - and since this is MY BLOG ;) I get to call it whatever I want)

this is the part where everyone nods their head in agreement

are you nodding?????

there you go

thanks



Tag, you're it!
http://erinbassett.typepad.com/creativite/2007/10/tag-youre-it.html tagged me.

Here are the rules which must be posted on your blog if you are tagged:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.


Here's 7 facts about me:

• I don't like to be bossed. (although God is teaching me obedience can be an awesome thing)

• I am missing my husband more and more each and every passing second. Thursday is our 10 year anniversary!

• Right now I am more calm about the Cancer than I am about the other drama in my life.

• My friends ROCK! God has blessed me tremendously in this department. I have come to see them as "the FAMILY you get to CHOOSE".

• I think sometimes we go through crazy things so we can be reminded that we do need HIM - I think HE wants us to recognize that and call out to HIM. HE is the only ONE that can be there for us every second of every day. HE is the only ONE that will NEVER LET US DOWN.

• I am totally rockin' out to BETTER DAYS by Robbie Seay Band - I have been trying to figure out how to add a music player to my blog with this song but I can't ever get it to play :( This is an awesome song so check it out if you can - i think it is on youtube ?? OH and if you know how to add music to your blog feel free to throw me a bone and give me a how to in the comments.

• I went over my allowance last month - (but it was to buy a clip it up) my hubby said he would make me one but he has enough on his plate ;) the least I could do was take that off his "to do" list ..... right??? ;)

Now, here's who I'm tagging:

Erin
http://www.giftforgab.blogspot.com/

LindaN (but i like to call her MOMMY even though we aren't biologically related)
http://lynn-scrapppincollector.blogspot.com/

Brenda
http://brendacarpenter.typepad.com/

Gretchen
http://www.gretchenschmidt.blogspot.com/

Brandy
http://www.brandylogan.blogspot.com/

Susan
http://susieqscrapbook.blogspot.com/

Ashlee
http://www.ashluvs2.blogspot.com/

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Wanted to send a quick shout out to my SISTER IN CHRIST -- KARENGirl I LUB LUB LUB U and your words meant more than I could ever express with words!!!

In the Details

I scored over 100 - gee i must be smart ;)
had my bloodwork done today - and the nurse at the oncologists office decided to do a CBC too because I have been feeling so badly - wasn't sure what it was - I thought it could just be the cooler weather we have had lately or just all the dampness/rain - but it looks as though it is due to my TSH being over 100. I needed it to be a 50 to start radiation on Monday (normal range is consider to be between .3 and 3.0) I totally blew that out of the water ;) so guess who has a ticket to the hospital for Mon-Thurs.

IT'S ME
IT'S ME
(said in my best spartan cheerleader voice from SNL)

Send up some prayers for my fam ... would ya
Heath is still in OKLAHOMA
and the kids will be staying with Nicole (whom I often refer to as FUN MOM) she is a wonderful friend who offered to help out.

It seems almost CrAzY to me sometimes when I think of all that is going on - and sometimes I feel really beaten down -- like i am out on a ledge and just begging for someone to throw me a rope or something - Then God does something that ONLY HE COULD DO and I just set back in AWWWE of Him --

Life is GOOD when GOD is in the DETAILS

While most are sleeping

I am playing on the computer/ blogging and just thinking these random thoughts

• Thinking about how much I miss my husband
• about what I can do to help my kids adjust to it all
• what my stinkin' TSH level will be on Thursday
• how nice it was to go back to bed for a few hours today
• about how much fun it was when my two friends woke me up and MADE ME GO TO LUNCH WITH THEM (u know who u r) -- ok so the waking me up part wasn't fun but once i was out of the house I had a really good time -
• and about how today has been so much better (spiritually) for me - had some great quiet time last night and it made a HUGE difference in my attitude today -

so now i say goodbye and I am hoping to enjoy a nice long hot bath and some more quite time with God -- hope HE is still up (good thing we don't really have to ever worry about that) :P :) ;)

Here is some total Momsense

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W95Y8hNQiH8

you have to check this out -- I am sure ALL MOMS can RELATE to this one
too funny - anita renfroe really nailed this -- love the last couple of lines

BECAUSE I SAID SO - and
I AM THE MOM

Tied Together With a SMILE

but coming UNDONE

today I can't help but wondering - What the HECK was I thinking ???!?!?!!!? I couldn't have been serious when I told my husband - insisted in fact - that he take this job in Oklahoma - after all "it is an awesome opportunity -Don't worry about me and the kids - I can handle it - I will stay and sell the house - oh and that cancer - I can totally kick it's rear... in my spare time of course ;) :D :P "

Was I freakin' smokin' CrAcK????

Ok - just typing that makes me feel better -- it is out there and not replaying in my brain anymore - and really I CAN DO THIS - if I couldn't God wouldn't be allowing all of this to happen. So here is to hoping I can actually get some sleep tonight - (and Heath too) - and if not in my bedroom I am going to move down to the sofa -

Thanks for listening
and baby if you are reading this -- I am totally OK - don't worry - I miss you and love you So SO MUCH!!!

10-14 Oklahoma Bound

Heath left this morning and I have been a DISASTER -- I tried to hold it together - No UgLy crying but I definitely had tears in my eyes -- I think I was driving him crazy but I went back out to his truck at least 3 times to give him "one last kiss goodbye"

Noah did better than I expected - I figured he would be the one having the worst time saying goodbye (he was so brave) but it was Makenna - She even asked Heath if she could just go to Oklahoma with him. I of course went upstairs and behind closed doors had a good cry.

We got ready for church and headed out - The kids and I went by ourselves to church - and with the kids in Sunday School it was really hard standing in service and not having Heath beside me to worship. We did have a guest Worship Leader who was amazing though - so that at least helped to keep me focused. He was really ROCKIN' OUT -- and it was so AWESOME

After church -we ate with Drema and of course Makenna wanted to go to her house so she offered to keep the kids while I went to Wal-mart ---- What a LIFESAVER -- that place was a mad house -- and it totally reminded me why I DON'T SHOP on the weekends -- it took an hour and 45 min. and I didn't have to get very much -- UGGGH -- and then when I got home i realized I had to unload everything by MYSELF -- yuck - Heath usually doesn't the unloading and I put stuff away --

Every little thing seems to remind me just how much I already miss my husband. I was putting away laundry and found a pair of khaki shorts he left here and you wouldn't believe how upset I got when I realized this would be the last time I put away his laundry for at least 3 weeks -- I can't even walk into our room without tearing up.

The kids didn't go to bed when they were supposed to - they kept trying to get me to let them sleep in my bed - that is a habit I don't want to start -- it was almost 11 before Noah finally fell asleep - The dog was even acting a fool' tonight -- I guess everyone is missing Heath

10-9 thru 10-13

another post just to catch up

Sat. 10-13 Heath and the kids planted the flowers and the house looks so good - makes me happy everytime I walk up the side walk :D :D - working on a few last minute things and heath had to pack :(

Fri. 10-12 More work on the house - same old same old - Made another trip to Lowe's (for flowers and pots)- they seem to be getting ALL OF OUR MONEY LATELY ;) Friday evening we went out to Melissa's and the kids watched Surf's Up :D :D They are really going to miss their cousins when we move - guess we had better soak it up while we can

Thurs. 10-11 Heath and his dad did the yard work - now I just have to buy some flowers and some pots - I worked in the house - more spackle and paint :) -- Thursday night we went to a JV Football game - the kids had a great time and it was nice to get out of the house and forget about all the work we "should" be doing

Wed. 10-10 - HOUSE STUFF -- blah blah blah -- for dinner we all got together at Ken and Drema's (including Melissa and her crew) couldn't stay out too late because the kids had school the next day but the kids enjoyed being together

Tues. 10-9 House stuff - finished up the baseboards FINALLY and on to spackling the nicks and nail holes - We rented Evan Almighty and had Family Movie Night - :D :D

what's upper

Still cleaning

Saturday - cleaned -

Sunday - worked on A-Z class layout

Monday - Since the kids were out of school we took them to the DOWNTOWN AQUARIUM -- We had a blast and we were able to see all kinds of cool fish. Attached a photo of an OCTOPUS

Friday 10-5

I AM FEELING A BIT BETTER TODAY (still frustrated)- I KNOW IN MY HEART IT WILL ALL WORK OUT IN THE END - I JUST WISH GOD COULD SEND ME A MEMO TELLING ME HOW IT WILL WORK OUT ;) ..... IF ONLY RIGHT :D

LET GO LET GOD
LET GO LET GOD

Thursday 10-04

I found out today that my TSH levelisn't were it needs to be (needs to be 50+ to start radiation and it is 31.4) UGGGGGGGH -- so instead of starting on Monday while my husband is still here (he leaves for Oklahoma for his new promotion on the 14th)I will go back and retest in 2 weeks and then have to see what the results are all over again only this time I will have to find someone to keep the kids for the 4-5 days i am in the hospital and then an additional 7-10 days afterward --

I am so upset about this I am upset about the whole thing - this cancer crap is really crampin' my style and it is totally turning into a DICTATORSHIP -- and i am sick of it -- I had made peace with leaving my kids with their dad to go into the hospital (i don't like being away from the kids) and now I am going to have to leave them with someone who doesn't know their routines/schedules -

I can only imagine how hard it is going to be on everyone especially the kids -- their dad is going to be GONE and now their momma will be out of reach for a long while as well --

UGGGH!!!!

NOT YOUR ORDINARY A-Z CHALLENGE

Monday, September 10, 2007

Not Your Ordinary A-Z Challenge

Not Your Ordinary A-Z Challenge Workshop!Ready to Rock-n-Roll? Can you stand a major shot of scrapping mojo? Are you a giggler or an all out laugher? Can you handle classes like Crabbie Patties, Kiss Me You Fool, Boy Is He Ripped, and more?

Find out this October when The ScrapRoom offers a 6 month long workshop with 26 weekly classes hosted by Susan Costanza and designed to put the excitement back in scrapping and inspire your individual creativity!

We have plenty of inspiration lined up with our amazing workshop Design Team featuring Shirley Standifird, Julie Walton, Jessica Chastain along with Guest Designers Brenda Carpenter and Shawnna Samples! (that is me!!!!)

Check The ScrapRoom website for a free class sample and sign up information!

http://thescraproomclub.invisionzone.com/index.php?showtopic=9972

13 Things

The Lucky 13 Things You Need to Know About Me


1. Scrapbooking rules are made to be broken….I don’t follow them anyway. Heck, I pretty much break all rules in life. I’m dangerous. I’m a rebel.

2. I am doer, not a procrastinator. I like to “Git R Done!”

3. Creating is my passion. It can turn a crappy day into a joyous one.

4. I love Target. Sometimes I wonder if they would notice if I just moved in.

5. I am a night owl. I save getting up early for the birds.

6. I would say I’m fairly organized, but somehow my pile of things to organize multiplies like rabbits.

7. Joy is a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.

8. I love fall. We don’t get it in Houston, but I love it.

9. Family is everything to me. My husband and kids can drive me up the wall, but I would be lost without them.

10. Color rocks. I love color so much every room of my house has a different color of paint. This makes it hard to put your house on the market, but it makes me smile.

11. Sweet tea, owls, hedgehogs, flipflops, turquoise, avocado green, pretzels and chocolate chips, Scenic Route, and Yankee Candles make me weak in the knees.

12. Music sooths the savage beast and the determined scrapper. John Mayer, Counting Crows, and Jack Johnson are my current faves.

13. Most importantly I love me some Jesus, and I don’t mind saying so!

thanks for helping me E!!!!

"SHOW TOWELS"

Finding myself in much better spirits
very busy - still tired - but gettin' er done
(that is redneck for making progress) ;)

I figure 2 SAD DAYS and what 2-3 MAD DAYS
isn't too bad for a gal with cancer - right?? :P

so this weekend the kids got to spend their allowances
and we picked out halloween costumes
I got a steal of a deal on a leather sofa and loveseat off
of craigslist -- UNBELIEVABLE DEAL

check out your area listings
www.craigslist.com

Finally won the battle on buying some new towels
Heath was totally against it after all ours are just coming
unravelled - and only a few had holes ;) I explained we
needed a few to stage the house with and if we were going
to buy a few we should go ahead and get a whole set
for a while he stood firm -- "We are not going to buy
SHOW TOWELS" -- he took this from the line in The Break
Up where Gary played by Vince Vaughn is arguing with his
wife about SHOW LEMONS she wanted for a centerpiece.
I will say though that Heath did get points for his valiant effort
but the VICTORY was all mine ;) :P and now i am the lovely owner
of some beautiful beige SHOW TOWELS

Church on Sunday and then Chinese for lunch - a trip to Sam's where
i bought a enormous pack of paper plates - I shouldn't have to wash a
plate for at least 2 months ;) - finally we made our way to Target

Today was PURGING - DONATING - PACKING and some cleaning
*disclaimer: Cleaning was almost entirely done by my neighbor Molly
who is one of my bestest buds*
did you know she cleaned one of my toilets without me even asking- now
that folks is LOVE

We worked on the downstairs bath - the laundry room and a little work in the kitchen
we will pick up in the Kitchen tomorrow and are hoping to also do the dining room - family room - and front living room
not sure if we can get all that done in one day but we are going to try :D :D

So let's all give 3 cheers to the MR. CLEAN MAGIC ERASERS who are now also on my bestest buddy list :D :D :D

overwhelmed and afraid

I must say today has been one of the toughest days -- Nothing really BIG has happened so there is no where to place the "blame" not that that is what I should be doing.

I have been SO TIRED - I don't even want to get up in the morning and sometimes I even go back to bed once the kids get off to school. My to do list is SO HUGE - and I am behind on pretty much all of my commitments (which is not like me at all - one of my pet peeves). And now with the house stuff that needs to be done in order to get it listed on the market I am COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED and feel like a ton of bricks is resting on my shoulders. My neighbor and good friend Molly even came to help me make a list of ALL the House To Do's and she is going to help me next week. She is such a blessing. I don't know what I would do without her.

My role as a mother and wife is even suffering - which makes me feel even worse. I am frustrated with myself and the fact that I can't make it through a few little chores without needing to rest and then I feel frustrated when my spouse comes home and is tired and doesn't feel like helping out -- It is a loose loose situation - I know he is trying and I just have to learn to LET GO a little more

So here is the run down on the last 24 or so hours

• Heath's truck that he just got on Monday had to be towed home - which meant I had to figure out how to get Noah to his doctor appointment this morning -- Heath and his dad tried to figure out what the deal was last night but we ended up having to get it towed from the house to a mechanic $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
• Heath and I had words about how I need help around here and I know he didn't mean it but his words were very hurtful -- He is just as stressed and overwhelmed as I am and when you put two overwhelmed people in a heated discussion it is bound to set off a smoke detector
• Noah had is dr. appointment and I didn't know he had to get shots - which he needed two -He was very upset -- He is deathly afraid of needles - and it didn't help that the nurse was RUDE
• had to drive heath to work which took over an hour there and back -
• I needed to stop at the post office on the way home but realized I left the packages at home so I drove all the way back home
• On the answering machine a women from Noah's dr's office said for me to call her back regarding Noah's LABS (this of course sent me into a fit of worry because the last time someone called this house about lab work it was to tell me I had cancer) I tried to call them back but they were out to lunch
• once i got to the post office the automated machine wouldn't weigh my package so i politely tried to let the postal worker know and she was SO VERY RUDE TO ME -- so rude that I was crying when I left - and really all I wanted to do was let them know it was broken so others didn't waste their time - SO I LEFT and went to another post office
• just feeling like I want to just lie in the fetal position and have a good cry - which stinks
• finally heard back from the dr's office and Noah's labs were NORMAL praise God (but they have never called me back for NORMAL results before - the woman was very sweet and I thanked her)
• while waiting for the school bus I got a call from Noah's school counselor and about the visit they had today - she said he was holding back tears and that his "Life is So Serious Right Now"

after that conversation I really lost it - I felt so afraid - How in the world would I be able to help my children through this if I couldn't even manage myself

My neighbor ended up getting the kids off the bus and I went to my room for a good cry and some time with the Lord. These are the verses He shared with me

"I sought the Lord and He answered me. And delivered me from all my FEARS." Psalm 34:4

"My flesh and my heart may fail. But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

I don't have to KNOW how to handle everything - Through HIS STRENGTH and HIS WISDOM I will be able to handle these "bad days" and hopefully the closer I draw to HIM the fewer "bad days" I will have

Blessings and love to you all

MORE RAK's

THANK YOU ANGELA (aloughridge) FOR THE RAK -(tons of clear plastic bags and some super cute brads) - SUPER CUTE!!!
and SO SO APPRECIATED!!!

KOINONIA - TSR GALS

I got an awesome little package today
and it was from ALL OF MY TSR GALS
www.scrap-room.com
I was totally freaking out
i had to call my dh at work
HE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER

I can't say enough what it means that they have POURED out their blessings upon our family - and it couldn't have come at a better time - literally i have 1/2 of a half gallon of milk in the fridge and this morning i was praying that the kids wouldn't want waffles and not cereal (as my dh doesn't get paid until friday) then i could make the milk last a while longer -- (normally i wouldn't admit this kind of stuff because quite frankly it is embarassing - but I want you to know how God has used these gals in my life in a very REAL way)

SO THIS IS ME HUMBLY THANKING THEM FROM THE VERY BOTTOM OF MY HEART

no one has ever done this kind of stuff for me (or my family) before - and it is amazing to see how GOD has blessed me with this message board - and i am not just talking about an atg gun -refills - TSR Kits - 100 gc to hobby lobby - 30 dollars CASH - ENDLESS R.A.K.s - plus $50 gc to Pizza Hut --$50 gc to SUBWAY and $25 to SONIC (from Erin LindaN and T) -- Their endless support and encouragement - their friendship -- their uplifting spirits - I could go on and on - but since i am now crying and the screen is looking blurry i will just leave you with this

THEY have showed me the true meaning of KOINONIA which is best translated as GOD'S LOVE in ACTION. Koinonia is agape or unconditional love in action. -- other words used to translate are FELLOWSHIP -PARTNERSHIP - SHARING - STEWARDSHIP

It is hard for me to even imagine this kind of love let alone be living in it - but I believe this type of love isn't humanly possible. I believe God placed HIS SPIRIT within us to enable us to love as HE LOVES. And I want you to know I have seen this kind of LOVE through their actions and I am SO THANKFUL I LOVE THEM ALL

Your Church EXPERIENCING GOD TOGETHER

The bible study I am working on is

Your Church EXPERIENCING GOD TOGETHER

by Henry T. Blackaby and Melvin D. Blackaby

Forgiveness or the lack there of

While working though this bible study I am starting to see some things about myself that I really just don't like. I am finding that I don't extend grace to some as easily as I should. There are a select few people who- when they mess up, or hurt me, or just let me down - I begrudingly hold unto that hurt and frustration. I am starting to see how this UNFORGIVENESS is adding bricks to the wall I am building between God and me. NOT GOOD - not good at all. So I am in prayer as to what God wants me to do about this -- should I confess to the person and ask for forgiveness or would this just make them feel bad ???? I am sure God will reveal it to me.

"If you forgive people their wrongdoing, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don't forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing."
Matthew 6:14-15

Below is a passage from the study i am doing

There are no irreconcilable differences among GOD'S PEOPLE. If there were, that would mean there was a limit to God's ability to forgive you as well. The cross would be void of its meaning. WE MUST FORGIVE AS CHRIST HAS FORGIVEN US --- TOTALLY, FOREVER.

those last two words are were i struggle the most -- TOTALLY, FOREVER -- after all I am a list maker - a score keeper of sorts -- I tend to forgive (so i call it) but then I check a tally mark next to the persons name -- so i will NEVER FORGET -- almost as if I kept index cards stored in my brain with the exact circumstance that happened to cause me to be upset with this person. And with some I may never bring the instance up again - but it is still there. However with my husband I do retrieve those cards as if to post them up -- THE SCORE IS 5 to 1 -- like a huge "YOU ARE MEANIE" BANNER -- it is really horrible and I am so so ashamed of myself -- I can't even believe I am admitting to this -- now my sudden urge is to hold down the BACKSPACE KEY until this entire paragraph is deleted - but really this is who I am right now - Not one of my better points but something I want to work on --

So this is me slowing tearing down the wall of UNFORGIVENESS i have been building. I don't want to be someone who just ACTS RIGHT on the outside when I think someone is watching. My desire is to strive to BE RIGHT. By "being right" I am speaking of the heart,the core of my existence.

Here is to LEARNING and GROWING through CHRIST

Tuesday September 18th thru Friday September 21

Ok let me just say -- this week has FLOWN BY -- where did it go - I so want to blog everyday and I mean to - it just isn't working - so here is yet another catch up post

Tuesday - worked on my bible study -- There is some pretty deep stuff in there - Emailed my doctor about being so tired and stuff - he wants me to come in for some blood work - he says he may have to up my Rx??

Wednesday - went to bible study - it was very interesting it is with a group of ladies I have never been in study with before (which is a little scary at first but SO AWESOME - it is great to hear their perspectives and share in their knowledge) I had such a great time - and can't wait to go back next week -- I originally was just going to jump in where I was (they started the study two weeks ago) but I am really learning so much that I am now starting from the beginning and working through -- I hope to be caught up with everyone else by next Wed.

Molly and I went to lunch and then to the mall -- We had so much fun - she needed makeup and I needed to get my nephew a birthday present

Went to ITZ's for Cristion's birthday party -- We had such a fun time - I will have to take the kids back before we move - it was such a cool place

Thursday -- met with the oncologist - he did blood work and then I had to have more blood work done at my other doctors office -- OUCH

I will hopefully be going into the hospital for radiation in about 2 weeks - it all depends on my TSH Level -- (they took me off of my meds today) they can't do the radiation until it reaches 50+ -- but they drew blood today to see where i am and i will just go back every week or so until it gets to 50+ then they will order the "PILL" (the doctor joked about how they will order it CUSTOM just for me - GEEE aren't I special ;) -- and I can be admitted on the following Monday for treatment -- They had previously said 3 days but i was thinking that meant go in on monday and then come home around noonish on Wed. -- today i found out it will be at least 3 (24 hour days) and could be up to 5 -- it just depends on how quickly my body gets rid of the
yucky stuff ;) they can't let me be out and about while I am GLOWING ;)-- once I am down to a certain level I will be able to go home but even then i will still be radioactive (for seven more days) so I can't be around the kids - or anyone that is pregnant or of "childbearing age" -- and also i have to sleep alone (and with my husband about to be leaving for his job this is not what we had in mind )

Sounds crazy right -- there were all these crazy things that i have to do -- like don't share a toilet with anyone -- wash my eating utensils seperate from everyone else's (or use disposable) don't share drinks -- the kids can't even sit in my lap

and while i am in the hospital - I can't have VISITORS - can you imagine being confined to one room for so many days -- JEEPERS - I am liable to go NUTS-O in there ;)

on the job front - Heath took the job in Oklahoma and he will start on OCT 15 -- EEEK right around the corner -- but they gave him an AWESOME relocation package - so that is exciting

we had someone come to look at the house Thursday night -- I was so hoping he would want to buy it (he flips houses and has rental property I think?) then maybe we could all move down together or shortly after -- but he called today and said it wouldn't be a great investment for him - I think because he usually buys them dirt cheap because they are already beat up and run down (and since ours isn't) and we have only owned it for 4 years we aren't in a position to give him a LOW LOW deal

you don't know of anyone who wants to buy a house in the Houston area do you ???? :D :D

Friday - Worked on my Bible Study -- SO LOVING IT - i have done three loads of laundry - vacuumed the upstairs (even vacuumed the kids ceilings - i know it sounds crazy but the ceiling fan was blowing dust onto them and well once i get started cleaning - it is really hard for me to stop) made all the beds - then i got sick YUCK - hope it doesn't have anything to do with them taking me off of my meds????? The kids will be home in about an hour and a half -- we don't have anything big planned for the weekend so hopefully they will just want to play and hang out - I could really go for a LOW KEY couple of days

Pencil Bouquet

This is a picture of 1 of 4 pencil bouquets I made for teachers/secretary's at the kids school

I purchased the container (would be super cute as a candy dish once all the pencils are gone) at Hobby Lobby - it was 1/2 off of 3.99 so very reasonable -- the pencils were .97 cents at target and the leaves and berries were bought at hobby lobby as well (the swag was 1/2 off of 9.99 but it had enough leaves for at least 3 pencil bouquets) Oh and I just used floral foam in the container and poked the leaves and pencils into it - had to use a little hot glue here and there but what craft project is complete without that stuff ; ) : D

9-14 thru TODAY RECAP

Friday - i was busy getting ready to leave for Caddo Mills - had a few hiccups in our plan that almost pushed me over the edge - feel like i am trying to balance on a teeny tiny tight rope and people keep throwing more and more things for me to catch - it all worked out in the end and we mananged to get there safely around midnight

Heath was offered the job in OKLAHOMA on Thursday - he accepted the offer today pending the amount of the relocation package

Saturday - We had the best time with Heath's family in Caddo (NE of Dallas)- I can't wait to share some pictures - the kids had a blast -- Makenna just LOVES Maddie to death - neither one of them wanted the other to leave - The kids roasted marshmallows - YUMMY - we got to see almost everyone - We got tons of mesquito/ant bites but it was so worth seeing everyone and just hanging out outside - it was like a family reunion - lots of people and even more FOOD- we got home around 1:30 am

Sunday - Church - lunch with Heather and her girls at Fuddrucker's - YARD WORK (which seriously wore me out) All I did was trim the hedges and get the grass out of the sidewalk but man I felt like i could sleep for an eternity after that -- MET WITH THE REALTOR

Monday - slept until 11:40 -Lunch with my mil -THANKS!!! it was so yummy - Met with realtor again to discuss what she thought we needed to do and what she wanted to list the house for

today was pretty rough - I am feeling overwhelmed with all that is going on in my life -- I think I have surrendered and waved my white flag AGAIN and AGAIN - the kids were really rough on me tonight - i think they are really struggling with all that is going on too -

I am excited to start preparing for the NEW BIBLE STUDY I will be attending at church on WED mornings (Your Church Experiencing GOD Together) really praying that the time I spend preparing will really get me focused on the things that are important in my life. I know that this "craziness" is only a season and it WILL PASS. Sometimes I loose sight of that

BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOURS

9/13/07 Thurs BIG MISTAKES

Have to do laundry today -- and i should have but i decided to bail out and have some fun with my girls --- They needed to shop for clothes and I went along to be their fashion consultant -- I guess that is one good thing about having a friend who is BRUTALLY HONEST ;) We all had a blast

Today I realized i made a BIG BOO BOO -- this is probably the BIGEST $$ messup I have ever made in my entire life (except for buying that chevy s10 pickup - the resale value on that thing was horrible) So PRAISE GOD I have such a forgiving husband - if he would have messed up our checking acct. this bad I may have divorced him *(totally kidding - but I am sure I would have yelled)* So I have apologized to ALL INVOLVED and I am just PRAYING that God will help me out of this mess. This is VERY HUMBLING -- which can be a bit painful - OUCH! But it is a lesson that I needed, I am sure.

Wanting to finish the last pencil bouquet tonight for Noah's NEW teacher -- I will take a picture and upload it later to show you. I know someone was asking about them in the comments --

We are leaving to go out of town tomorrow so I will be OUT-IE for the weekend -- Hope you all have a GREAT ONE :D :D