yesterday

wanted to say that yesterday MY DEAR SWEET HUSBAND -- bought me the book "52 Scrapbooking Challenges" by Elsie Flannigan -- YUM -- who has the bestest husband in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD??? -- ME ME ME --

we went to the LSS to get some cardstock for Noah and Makenna (for projects) and i walked up to the register and i GASPED - my heart was racing and I had to catch my breath - (Heath had only came in the store because i didn't have my purse and he had to buy the cardstock) but when he heard me GASP he (being the caring and loving husband he is ) LOOKED and I POINTED TO THE BOOK -- he just smiled and nodded his head. He knew i had been counting the days down until it came out on the 17th -- i couldn't believe they had it already -- I AM SO LUCKY !!


also had a few things in the mail --
1. PHOTOS from Walmart -- they found them and mailed them to me - nevermind they should have been in my hands 2 weeks ago -- i am just glad they found them and sent them here -- plus i got them for FREE --

2. Shell - sent me a CD -- THANK YOU -- i will be jammin' to that tonight

3. I recieved my RAK from Carla - THANK YOU-- it had so many goodies and the package was HUGE


also -- more of MY STORY will be posted tonight -- thank you for your patience

Part 1 (beginning)

i wasn't sure how/ where to start so i guess i will start with my pregnancy - i was only a teenager when i found out i was pregnant - nothing more than a child myself - up until that point my biggest fears involved getting caught cruisin' the strip while my parents thought i was at the movie theatre -- and so it begins - i am pregnant -- I was pressured by some to have an abortion - this was something that I COULDN'T do - part of me thought "no one would ever have to know about this if i went down this path" but the BIGGEST part of me knew that I COULDN'T do it - that this was a BABY growing inside of me - Thankfully my mother was there to give me support and encouragement - though i am sure she wasn't happy about the situation I had gotten myself into - she was more supportive than I would have imagined she could be and she stood by my side when I made the decision to keep the baby - MY BABY - my pregnancy was tough it wasn't fun to feel alienated by my peers - and the comments some of them made --- OMGoodness - it was horrible -- skip this part and lets fast forward to the birth of my son - Aasin -

he was a beautiful baby and such a blessing - born March 5th 1996 - i remember sobbing uncontrollable the first time I held him in my arms - he was so fragile and innocent I couldn't help but wonder if I would be able to give him the life he deserved - would I be a GOOD MOTHER - would I know what to do when he cried or when he had a fever (lets hope so because i spent most of my pregnancy reading every BOOK i could get my hands on about childbirth and childrearing)

at this point my life totally changed - RESPONSIBILTY LEAD THE WAY TO MANY CHANGES

SCHOOL: I was on homebound (high school at home - i met with a teacher once per week who would give me all my assignments which would be turned in on the following week) HOME: Not only was I caring for this infant 24/7 I was also babysitting my three younger brothers after school until my parents came home and all the while still helping my mom with housework. WORK -- and as soon as school was out for the summer I got my first real job (up until then there was babysitting and doing odd jobs for my parents to earn cash) my mother babysat for me while i worked part time / evenings and weekends at a resturant - they didn't want me to work at first but i knew i was going to have to do it sooner or later

my life had done a 180 degree turn - no longer was i a teenager living for the weekends - now i was a mother - oohh ing and awwe ing over all the FIRSTS that my son was experiencing -- HOLDING HIS HEAD UP -- ROLLING OVER -- it seemed that i could no longer communicate with those that had been my peers - they were talking about their DATES and i was talking about sleepless nights - cute baby noises - and diapers - it was strange and it set me apart but i didn't mind - I loved my son and i was determined that i would do whatever i could to make the best life possible for him.

What to say

some times i have trouble finding words - words come so easily for some -- not so much for me -- now i am not talking about idle chit chat (i can totally handle that) -- i am talking about WORDS -- life altering words -- words of sorrow -- words of tragedy --- over the next few days i am going to try to type the WORDS that have been rattling around in my brain lately.

do you know how it feels when God is trying to get you to do something - something that you are not sure YOU can do -- lately i have struggled with this very thing and after much thought and nudging not only from GOD but a few others - i think i may just have enough nerve to share MY STORY -- The story of my son, Aasin - The story of how is little life CHANGED ME - INSIDE and OUT -- more to come

STOP! Wait a minute

Stop! Wait a minute Mr. Postman --

I got some awesome goodies in the mail today

1. 2 sets of Autumn leaves Stamps by Rhonna (Nature and Swirls)
2. a box from the local scrapbook store (LSS) that i used to work at in OK before we moved
3. Paper Crafts magazine
4. NO BILLS ---

Number ONE
Rhonna - these stamps ROCK -- I am totally spending every dime of my allowance on these stamps until I collect them ALL -- then i will move on to those itty bitty actions for PS that i am SO LOVIN'

Number TWO
Ok - confession time - when i saw this box outside my front door today I totally FREAKED -- I didn't look at the return address label -- ALL I COULD SEE WAS THE CUTE LITTLE CRICUT LOGO on the SIDE OF THE BOX -- first thought was DH really does pay attention to me when i talk to him -- and what a great surprize -- then i was like NAHHH --- so i check the label and it is from my former employer -- i had made a lunch box tin for the store that i feel in love with and she mailed it to me after they were through demo- ing it. BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE -- she sent me this super cute little gift -- THANKS A BUNCH JERI ANN -- oh and I MISS YOU TOO -- tell leigh ann and the others HI for me

here is a link to the pictures of the tin - after you click on the link here click on the image on the 2peas page
http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/pg.asp?cmd=display&layout_id=895845

Number THREE
i got the aug/sept issue of Paper Crafts in the mail and i will for sure be reading it while i am on the NIGHT OWL THREAD on TSR (the scrap-room message board). This night owl thread has been my guilty pleasure ... i mean .... em ... obession .... lately.

and last but not least

Number FOUR
NO BILLS -- does that even need an explanation

have a joyful day -- I am trying ...

blessings
Shawnna

Me Layout

this was a combo Challenge from Carla and T at the scrap-room -- I really loved how it turned out. FUN FUN FUN -- i used RiBBON PaInT and Raw ChiPBoarD - (the letter weren't raw but i sanded and painted them too) oh and black / white Cardstock -- but cardstock is a given on any layout RIGHT?? Hope you dig it

oops!

forgot to add the other layout -- here ya go!

Layout

I worked on two layouts last night for two challenges on TSR and I finished up the journaling on my ME album - Feeling good about getting those projects done.

Today I am not feeling well - I think it is all the LATE NIGHTS I have been pulling lately -- 3:30 a.m. is not an ideal bedtime for anyone - let alone a mother of two kids - one being a child who wants EGGS for breakfast - I am trying to just make myself get up SUPER early in the morning so I will just wear myself out - I don't know if this is going to work -- we shall see

TSR KIT plus SOME

Ok - by now i am sure you are bored with my "fun mail" or "good mail" posts but TOO BAD cause my TSR KIT came today and i am totally STOKED -- i even received my extra goodies from TAMMY for the Organize Challenge -- FUN STUFF -- and an extra bonus is that my SUPPLIES are ORGANIZED --

On TOP of this package I got a RAK from Emily -- the Scrapbooking A-Z book by Deluxe Designs -- THANKS EMILY - can't wait to soak up all the ideas in here --

In other good news - I now am a proud owner of PHOTOSHOP -- YESSSSS --- and that my friends is FLIPPIN SWEET -- now to get off the pc and actually install it

and just so that you don't think I live the "FABULOUS LIFE" I did get 5 bills in the mail today --

Sorry for the CRAZY ORDER OF THE PICS -- ???

another GOOD mail day

More fun mail -- stamps I ordered with my allowance (autumn leaves scribbles
alphabet and scribbles punctuation by Rhonna ) 2 more stamp sets should by on
the way ----------and a RAK from Karen it is wild asparagus YUMMY -Karen is
another one of my TSR friends - LOVE THAT PLACE * THE SCRAP - ROOM* link is at
the side - go check it out -- and LOOKY what DH brought home from work -- a new
V Cast cell phone -- FUN FUN -- you would think i would have had a fabulous day
with all these goodies but it was kind of glum-- I am still trying to find two
rolls of film that WAL MART or their 3rd party developers have MISPLACED --
maybe they will show up tomorrow --

note to self: NEVER i repeat NEVER
take your film to wal mart again

Mail

I love GOOD MAIL - whether it is snail mail or email -- I LOVE IT-- who doesn't - it makes me happy -- this one is a RAK from my dear sweet TSR buddy AMY --- THANKS AMY -- I am going to enjoy reading every single page !

My Sweet Son

I wanted to post a pic of my sweet son Noah -- He is growing up so fast --7 already -- He is very mature in so many ways -- He loves to help around the house -- and he has a HUGE heart -- He suffers from Tourette Syndrome -- it amazes me how awesome he is about it -- he knows it is something that his friends don't have but he doesn't let it get him down --often times curious children (and even some mean ones) will ask him "WHY DO YOU DO THAT?" and he just says he has "motor tics" and he can't help that he does it then he will answer ALL of their questions -- He is SO BRAVE

for more info on Tourette Syndrome ( it is sometimes referred to as Tourette Disorder) check out this link

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/detail_tourette.htm

just finished reading a book i checked out from the library titled
Tics and Tourette Syndrome: A Handbook for Parents and Professionals by Uttom Chowdhury

I found it to be very insightful --and although we had to work through a lot of this stuff on our own I thought I would post the book here -- It would have been great to have this book when he was first diaganosed with Motor tics 3 years ago

This morning the kids CLEANED their playroom -- I know you are thinking "no big deal" but the KEWLEST part was that I DIDN'T ASK them to do it -- WOW

today i am totally celebrating this little blessing -- until tomorrow -- here is me wishing you many blessings

PHOTOSHOP

edited: I AM SO GETTING THIS -- and that is my FINAL ANSWER I am so ITCHING to get photoshop -- i was good I didn't buy it yet and put it on a credit card (those things are BAD- credit cards) but now that DH has gotten paid I am finding it HARD TO BUY IT --- did i just say that -- "hard to buy it" yep i guess i did -- CRAP -- 100 bucks is a lot of money-- i did find it at sam's for 79.99 -- I don't know -- SHOULD i or SHOULDn'T I --- I want to soooooo fReAKin BAD --- but i don't usually spend that kind of money on myself -- but it isn't really for me - Right?? -- it is for the family -- for our photos -- OK enablers help me out

Rhonna STAMPS

Today was a FUN mail day -- NO BILLS and I got some stamps that I ordered -- Autumn Leaves Rhonna Farrer Botanicals -- I am slowly going to try to collect all of these --LOVE THEM :0) They are so YUMMY

here is a link to some of them
http://rhonnafarrer.typepad.com/dreamy/2006/06/my_r_list.html

California Dreamy

Don't ya just love it when you meet up with an old friend and it is like you were NEVER apart. I just did that -- less than an hour ago Claudia was here. We had such a great visit. I wish it would have lasted longer but I was so happy to see her.

We met about 4 years ago in a MOPS group at my church and we hit it off instantly. She has 3 adorable boys. Ethan (her middle child) and Noah were in the same moppets class and they became best friends. Thus this was the spark that started our friendship. Just two moms getting their kids together for a playdate. But ours was different it wasn't akward or boring it was like we had always known each other. Like there was no beginning to our friendship it always existed - it was just out there in the universe waiting for US to find it. Anyway many playdates followed that one and then after about a year she found out she was moving to SAN DIEGO -- I remember being so sad -- she was so sad. (insert TEARS)

She has been in CA for 3 years now - we kept in touch even while we moved to OK then back again -- we still communicated-- emailed -- occasional phone calls -- but seeing her -- WOW -- she looks great - so happy -- so DREAMY -- like California DREAMY -- she has a beautiful tan -- beachy hair -- they all looked "beachy" -- it was weird to see them all different but the same -- her boys are so big and handsome like little men -- i think i was expecting them to still be little - frozen in time-

Anyway I just wanted to say that I feel SO BLESSED to have such a great friend -thanks Claudia for staying in touch with me -- i know it isn't easy having a long distance friendship but GIRL YOU ARE SO WORTH IT ;0)


for more info on MOPS international check out this link
http://www.mops.org/

SWIMMING

MAKENNA IS SWIMMING underwater all by herself --
after she started so did NOAH -- he is not as sure of himself as she is but with a few days of practice I am sure he will be growing gills too -- totally bummed that i didn't have my camera (left purse at home and just brought the pool bag) -- but was SO HAPPY THAT DADDY WAS THERE TO SEE THE KIDS SWIM

ME

I have been busy working on a little album kit -- cute --here are a few pages from the Heidi Swapp "ALL About ME" album I ordered from QVC - here is the link

http://www.qvc.com/asp/frameset.asp?class=7875&cm_re=PAGE-_-PROMOTIONS-_-1:SCRAPBOOKING&qic=y

I am really lovin' this album and the whole process -- it really has me THINKING about ME --- things I like and don't like about myself -- things i want to change about me --- it is very introspective and cathardic too. --- anyway -- I am just going to trickle in the pages over then next several days -- Hope you enjoy


sorry they are out of order -- top is pg 3 (need to add a photo of myself - probably a black and white version of the one here on the blog)-- middle is pg 2 -- bottom is page 1

LAUNDRY

OK -- honestly - here is the REAL DEAL --- the Nitty Gritty (as jody would say) -- THE TRUTH ---


I hate to do laundry


I hate to constantly be wondering if the dryer just went off ---WAITING - and WAITING --- it seems like I start a project and then get distracted by the dryer -- OR WORSE I DON'T HEAR IT AT ALL and everything is wrinkled -- I am so impatient I can't just stay down stairs ALL DAY to do the laundry---
another issue is I don't want to iron any more that I have to -- I don't like to spend 15 bucks a week having Heath's shirts cleaned and pressed -- So I say I WILL DO IT but then I drag my feet and every evening my husband asks "Do I have a shirt for tomorrow" and then I either do it or ask him to do it while I clean the kitchen or something ---

NO MORE --- I am getting all the laundry done TODAY -- YEP in one Day --- Hubby agreed that if I get it all done today he will carry it upstairs and put it all away -- :0) Nothing like striking a deal to get me movin' SAD huh? hope Martha Stewart doesn't stumble upon my blog -- she might be sent into cardiac arrest just reading this post

Weekend

We had lots of FUN this weekend -- Family in from out of town (2 more cousins to play with)-- 2 trips to the pool (one of those being to aunt lissa's splash pad) -- WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE, right??!! If I could I would ask for another day -- just one extra day to relax and recover from all the GOING this weekend --

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Today is my BABY's 6th Birthday -- I can't believe she is six -- WOW -- where did the time go -- She is growing up so fast but right now it seems she doesn't know if she wants to be a baby or a little girl --- One minute she is acting like a grown up and the next she is crying because she isn't getting her way --

AND RIGHT NOW SHE IS TAKING A NAP because ,YEP, even on your BIRTHDAY the rules still apply in THIS HOUSE --- if you are going to throw a fit you just may be a little worn out from your 2 day birthday celebration (one day of shopping - sleep over - and trip to the theatre to see Over the Hedge) --- I know you are thinking "OMGoodness - she punished her daughter on her birthday ???!!???" -- and my response to that is "YES,-- but after about 3 warnings" -- see I am not as MEAN as you think ;0)

I am sure things will be much better after she has rested -- Then we are going to watch the Barbie mermaid movie - Mermaidtopia??? i think is what the title is ?? something like that anyway --

these pictures are from yesterday -- before we left for the movie -- the top one is her "MOM please don't make me take another picture" FACE -- classic I know -- every mom who scrapbooks and/or just likes to take pictures of their kids KNOWS this face ---

hope your having a GREAT DAY

BOY TIME

well it is poker night at our house --- AKA boy's night --- lots of stinky boys fill my home each and every Tuesday --ok -- they aren't boys they are MEN and they actually smell pretty good - I only know this because they are very polite (at least while I am in the room) and always HUG when they come over -- sometimes they even bring stuff too -- :0) FUN TIMES --- but anyway I love poker night -- they play for hardly anything -$10 or something -- and they seem to really enjoy themselves -- I think it is great that my husband and his buddies have some "BOY TIME" - we ALL need some time to just have FUN

WOW -- I won something

I am so excited that this week is starting off on the right foot. I won something!!!!!! I can't even believe it. I don't know what it is but I will post a pic when I receive it. It is supposed to come in my July Kit from the SCRAP-ROOM. YEAH!!

http://www.scrap-room.com/

and about the SCRAP-ROOM -- let me just say i can't get enough of the message board there NOT to mention THE KITS --

THE KITS
I totally didn't think of myself as a kit kind of gal but HOLY SMOKES BATMAN -- Tammy's kits TOTALLY rock -- and the best part is -- IT HAS CHANGED they way I scrapbook and the way I SHOP --- ( i know you are totally thinking "SHUT UP " no way could anyone change the way i shop-- i am the see it must have it kind of shopper - especially when it comes to my SCRAPBOOK SUPPLIES) any way now when i shop i think in terms of kits/ 2 page spreads - I no longer feel the need to hoard everything in a certain line (um take the new BASIC GREY lines for example) I can pic 3-4 sheets of patterned paper pair it with some matching cardstock a few accessories (embellishments) and WAH LAH --- a fabulous thing has just occured -- I SAVE MONEY and I STAY ORGANIZED

THE MESSAGE BOARD
let me just say this -- I LOVE THOSE GALS -- they are totally MY PEOPLE -- love em' --- I have NEVER been on a message board (and i have been on several) and felt more AT HOME -- Very welcoming -- from the very beginning --- I think I may be addicted to this place


On to other NON SCRAPPING matters (is there such a thing)

;0)

The kids and I started our "Summer Homeschool" today -- No I am not a regular homeschooler but my son just turned 7 and my daughter is about to turn 6 -- and they need just a little something to keep them up to date with their learning -- Anyway -- Todays schedule went a little like this:

Prayer
Pledge of Alligence
Journal
Reading
Writing
Math
we watched ZOOM on PBS so i am counting that toward "Summer Science" :0)

if there is a REAL HOMESCHOOL TEACHER out there I would love to see your schedule

We had so much fun and you know what - THEY ACTUALLY LISTENED AND FOLLOWED DIRECTIONS -- I tried to keep it very interactive and just had fun with it -- They have matured so much over the past few months it was very evident this morning - SIX MONTHS ago they had a much shorter attention span -- it makes a huge difference -- anyway i plan to do this 3 times a week or so -- We are also doing the summer reading program at the local library so i am trying to take them there once a week for new books and fun time. HAD SO MUCH FUN with them today -- GOOD STUFF

Card

Here is the card I made for my DH -- he is such a great dad -- words cannot express how I feel about him and how lucky I am that he is my husband --

Father's Day

Ok so I am a day late -- Worse things have happened - Right??

Anyway - here are some of my favorite pictures of my dad ( technically he is my stepfather but he is the only father I have ever known) We didn't always see eye to eye but I am so thankful that he is in my childrens lives -- HE IS SUCH AN AWESOME GRANDPA -- love you DAD

warning: need a new scanner so these are photos of photos -- hence the poor pics i posted -- but you get the idea

SHOUTING from the ROOF TOP

Scrapbook Answers editor, Ana Cabera is givingaway a free weekend to the Scrapbook Answers Girls Weekend August 10-13in Phoenix, AZ.To learn more about how you could win a free trip, check out Ana's blog at

http://coconutgoddess.typepad.com/coconut_goddess/2006/06/get_ready_to_ru.html

fun stuff - check it out

Warning: Sad Stuff

Things have been a little uneasy around here the past few days and I have struggled with putting it all into perspective.

A member of our family recently found out she has cancer AGAIN (we will call her "S" -- just because i don't know if she would want me to post her name) - She survived breast cancer and now she has cancer AGAIN. This time it is in her bones - which sounds horribly bad. I totally believe that MY GOD can do anything -- Even when things seem to be at their worst -- HE CAN TOTALLY COME IN AND PERFORM A MIRACLE -- That is what I am asking for - For "S" -- who is a loving - kind - caring - generous woman ---- SHE TOTALLY ROCKS -- she hasn't had an easy life but she has never allowed her heart to be hardened by the hand she was dealt -- Please pray for her and her family.


My youngest brother we will just call him "M" -- witnessed a horrible accident - he witnessed death -- His friend accidentally shot himself in the head --"M" of course was very upset when we last spoke -- I wish I could be there with him now - not that i would have the words to make this tragic event disapper but just to BE with him -- to make sure that he knows I LOVE HIM -- and to hug him and tell him that this wasn't his fault-- I am very worried about him -- he is so young and impressionable THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE HIM -- I didn't know the young man who died but I pray that he knew God and had a personal relationship with him -- I know my brother is a christian and i pray that during this time of turmoil and confusion he will lean not on his own understanding but on God's -- Please pray for this young mans family and for everyone involved in this tragedy.

THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE

• I know BAD things happen to GOOD people all the time (just saying it puts a lump in my throat)
• I KNOW that God has everything in control (and that he doesn't need me to try to MICROMANAGE him)
• It isn't for me to know why these things happen (not just yet - although I hope when i get to heaven maybe God will pull me aside or better yet we will meet for coffee at Starbucks and he will explain it all to me -- and our conversation will end with something like "...Now you see, Shawnna, that is why it had to happen that way" -- and it will all make sense)

Lions, Tigers, and EMPTY HANGERS - OH MY

My SWEET little girl -- ok so she isn't always sweet - but she sure looks the part -- She is so funny -- Yesterday she barges into my office carrying a handful of hangers proclaiming "Do you see all these EMPTY HANGERS? -- We need to get me some more clothes." Spoken like a true woman (although she isn't even six yet) :0)

Cards

Two REALLY FAST cards for the dads in the family (<->minus my dh's -- cause he might check this blog)

THIS IS A TEST

this is a test
this is only a test

BEEEEEEEP!