Another year has past and now my first born son would have been 12 years old. This was the first year I was able to stay focused on all the positive he brought into my life. It has taken 12 long years to get to that point. It seems sad to me, how this time of year, in the past, has brought me to such a sorrowful place - a place of deep saddness. I can't help but think of how much time I have wasted feeling sorry for myself. This year was different. I filled my day with thoughts of thankfulness. I am so thankful that I was blessed with my little boy. He changed the course of my life - put me on a new path. And though my heart still climbs into my throat when I think of how much I miss him, I can't help but smile when I remember his sweet little face.