Monday, July 20, 2009

13 years

Another year
Another anniversary
tough day
always is
wonder if that will ever change

I love my first born son so much
forever and always

I wonder what he would be like
what sports would he play
would he even like sports at all
what would he look like
what would his personality be like
serious, organized, type A
or goofy and spontaneous

I miss him
I wish he could still be here with me
but my wishing doesn't change things
my only comfort comes from believing
I will see him again

Today I hugged my other children tighter and longer than usual
and today they let me without pulling away
I needed that and I think HE knew it
Thanks BIG GUY (I like to call God that sometimes)
____________________
back story:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three

4 comments:

Amy Wing said...

Oh Shawnna - I came over here to say something light-hearted: thanks for visiting our blog; I'll have your order out right away; love to see what you do with it.

But... I read this instead. I am heartbroken for you, and yes, I did cry while reading your story. It's difficult to even think about, especially as a mother. I can't imagine going through that EVER, especially not as a teenager.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Kristin said...

Stopped over today from the Scrap Room Blog following your tutorial and found this post.
It's amazing that you have found the strength to share your story which is a reminder to appreciate every moment since they can go by so quickly.
Thank you for sharing and I hope this day passes quickly for you and your family.

Cass said...

*hugs* You have been through so much for someone my age. God bless you for sharing your story. May the Big Guy continue to hold you in His arms and give you comfort only He can give. *hugs*

Steve Rodli said...

Totally awesome Shawnna, thank you for sharing. Happy happies. Joyce