Thursday 10-04

I found out today that my TSH levelisn't were it needs to be (needs to be 50+ to start radiation and it is 31.4) UGGGGGGGH -- so instead of starting on Monday while my husband is still here (he leaves for Oklahoma for his new promotion on the 14th)I will go back and retest in 2 weeks and then have to see what the results are all over again only this time I will have to find someone to keep the kids for the 4-5 days i am in the hospital and then an additional 7-10 days afterward --

I am so upset about this I am upset about the whole thing - this cancer crap is really crampin' my style and it is totally turning into a DICTATORSHIP -- and i am sick of it -- I had made peace with leaving my kids with their dad to go into the hospital (i don't like being away from the kids) and now I am going to have to leave them with someone who doesn't know their routines/schedules -

I can only imagine how hard it is going to be on everyone especially the kids -- their dad is going to be GONE and now their momma will be out of reach for a long while as well --

UGGGH!!!!