I have to admit the anger snuck up on me. It was like a nasty germ infecting my whole body. I wasn't even fighting it for most of the day. I found myself cursing my dryer.
Yep I said it -- I CURSE -- I am not proud of it but it is one of those things - like riding a bike -- you don't FORGET how to do it - when I feel things are out of control - when I am angry -- I jump on the CUSS WAGON -- It isn't pretty - OLD HABITS aren't always easy to shake -- don't get me wrong - I don't go around cussing in front of my kids - or dropping "F" bombs -- but in those little moments when I am by myself I will let out a D*amn it or a Sh*t -- and today my anger/frustration targeted my dryer as well as a family member (although i didn't cuss the family member)
You would think that having a $548 electric bill would mean that your towels would be dry when the dryer buzzed -- Let me say now - just for the record - that is not always the case.
Anyway around 5 or so I finally decided that being angry wasn't really helping and that it took far less energy to just get over it and stop trying to find reasons to be mad. The real reason I was made was that I have C A N C E R. It isn't anyones fault. It just happened. And I can choose to let it choke me with anger and resentment OR I can try to see the positive.
The positive being that I am learning to just GO WITH THE FLOW - I don't have to get every item checked off on my to do list everyday. SOMETIMES YOU NEED HELP and if you don't allow people to help you you are actually causing them to miss out on God's blessings (as well as the blessing it would be for you to HAVE their help)
So in closing, am I angry I have CANCER? -- YEP -- does that make a difference? -- NOT AT ALL --