9/12/07 WEDNESDAY

wed. was by far the most productive day I have had since my surgery
I really believe some of this tiredness is just mental --
Yesterday I cleaned 2 bathrooms (that were disgusting-- really i am ashamed I was even letting my family go in there) and i did dishes --- and i also did a few loads of laundry
WOOOO HOOOO
i was so tired but i just pushed through it -- am i sore today --YEP -- but it is so worth having a clean bathroom

decided today that i am going to go to wed. morning bible studies at church with molly
even though there wasn't a study that REACHED out and GRABBED me - I am going to do it anyway -- and I know God will bless my efforts -- it is more than i am doing know

I used to do bible studies ALL THE TIME - I was always working on something either in a group setting or on my own -- but i have been so lazy this past year -- I have to admit -- SHAMEFULLY -- that I have been just sort of reading the bible -- not even really digging in -- just sort of skimming -- SO hopefully this bible study will help me push through to the next level

9/11 FREEDOM

today, 9/11/2007, I am so thankful for the life that I have, the country I live in, and all the men and woman who serve this great country.

When I think back to that day 6 years ago I can't help but get teary eyed. I wonder about all the families that were touched by this tragedy. How they are doing now. My heart (and my prayers) go out to them.

Today was pretty laid back for me. I ended up sleeping until almost noon. Seems like I need about 10 -12 hours of sleep a night versus my usual 4-6 hours. Maybe all that "lack of sleep" is just catching up to me. The doctors say to just take it easy but I can't help but notice all the dust and of course the ring that is forming around the bathtub ;)

One of my bestest buddies took me out to lunch today and then to Hobby Lobby. We had a BLAST!!!! -- THANK YOU MOLLY - you are truly too too sweet.

I also got ANOTHER RAK in the mail -- THANK YOU SHELL ORIOLD for the awesome pack of DAISY D's PAPER -- it is BEAUTIFUL!

I managed to clean the 1/2 bath downstairs today!! YEAH! GO ME!! :D :D now tomorrow I will tackle the other 2 bathrooms - make phone calls - and do laundry (ok so maybe I have so hefty goals but being positive can't hurt, right?)

Not Your Ordinary A-Z Challenge

Not Your Ordinary A-Z Challenge Workshop!

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Find out this October when The ScrapRoom offers a 6 month long workshop with 26 weekly classes hosted by Susan Costanza and designed to put the excitement back in scrapping and inspire your individual creativity!

We have plenty of inspiration lined up with our amazing workshop Design Team featuring Shirley Standifird, Julie Walton, Jessica Chastain along with Guest Designers Brenda Carpenter and Shawnna Samples! (that is me!!!!)

Check The ScrapRoom website on September 30th for a free class sample and sign up information!

Free Pass Giveaway!

Would you like to win a FREE pass to the Not Your Ordinary A-Z Challenge Workshop? ($40.00 Value!) TSR will be giving away THREE FREE PASSES!!!

All you have to do is go here http://thescraproomclub.invisionzone.com/index.php?showtopic=9435&st=0&gopid=150093&#entry150093 and reply to the thread, and you will be entered into a drawing for one of three free passes to be given out randomly. Winners will be announced on September 30th!

MY CUP OVER FLOWS Sept. 10 follow up with the surgeon

had my follow up with the surgeon today it was pretty uneventful -- He said the incision looks good and that he felt good about the amount of tissue he was able to remove -- He wanted to know who my oncologist was and when my appt. was with him yadda yadda but no new news or anything

started off in a "not so great" mood today slept until almost NOON - and was still tired - not to mention RUNNING BEHIND. Had several phone calls to make and had to leave messages with everyone (knowing i wouldn't be home to recieve the return calls). Was a little erked with the dr. appt. But when I got home I had a SUPER FABULOUS MAIL DAY!!!

I can't even believe all the RAK's my friends from TSR sent --
Molly Joly sent me 4 packs of mini me primas
Shirley sent me a beautiful card as well as some "SUPER STAR" bling
and several of the girls chipped in and bought me THIS MONTHS KIT (+ the embellie kit and paper add on) from The Scrap Room
www.scrap-room.com

MY CUP OVERFLOWS
I can't even begin to express the gratitude that is in my heart
I am OVERWHELMED with emotion
When I recieved the kit I immediately thought
"OH NO Tammy accidentally sent me a kit"
(i spent some money at the lss and had to pass on the
kit because things are REALLY TIGHT around here - dr bills and such)
I was so surprised to see the note that said my TSR gal pals all chipped in and got it for me thank you SO SO SO MUCH -- I don't know how I managed to make such awesome friends I DON'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS - but I am SO THANKFUL to have such AWESOME women in my life.

DOODLE

http://homegrownhospitality.typepad.com/ Steph left me the SWEETEST shout out on her blog -- and she even made me this super fab doodle!

THANK YOU SO MUCH STEPH!!!

Some BLINKIE love

Mikey at TSR made this SUPER COOL Blinkie in support of my current health issues. You know the "C" word. Tons of the girls at TSR http://www.scrap-room.com/ are sporting them in their signature. I can't help but get all mushy when I see this.

September 9th Sunday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELISSA
today is my sister in laws birthday - so I had to give her a proper SHOUT OUT ;)

today is also GRANDPARENTS DAY so happy day to all those with grandchildren

tired and sore today - swept the floor - did some laundry - rested -- but still tired and sore
I think I am starting to get the feeling back in my neck and OUCH -- pain wise this is one of the THREE BAD DAYS - YUCK

In other news......
I am really wanting to do a Bible Study -- prayed about the few that the Women's Group at my church are doing on Wed. morning. None of them really JUMPED OUT at me. So not sure what that is about. Hoping God will give me some direction.

Sept. 8th SATURDAY

Saturday
I was surprised by a LOVELY (LOVE,ELSIE) Riley RAK (random act of kindness) by my buddy Lan -- She sent me the FRIENDS Chipboard album - the soft charms - and the rubons - WHAT A SWEETIE

also I neglected to mention that my friend SHELLBOWIE sent me some awesome transparencies she made using the Hambly OWL Rubons -- (I love Owls) she also made a super sweet OWL iron on -- can't wait to use it :D

Today was BUSY BUSY - made 17 halloween cards for a upcoming Swap on TSR. I still have 20 more to make but I am feeling good with my progress thus far

Went to eat at OTB with Melissa and her pal - We had a good time - fun to just get out of the house a bit -- OH EXCEPT for the part where I tried to eat a chip --- hmmmm....... surgery and chips don't mix well -- I thought I was going to CHOKE TO DEATH -- which was kind of funny when you think about it -- because.... well.... I do have cancer ---- could you imagine dying at the corner both at ON THE BORDER -- ok so maybe i have a freakishly weird sense of humor - but i found it funny

Had a long phone call with my cousin Tasha - LOVE THAT GAL -- LOVE HER TO PIECES

So today was a good day (said in my best ICE CUBE voice)

EVERYTHING SKIT

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?view...63418003b47d7d5

This is a very POWERFUL MESSAGE!! the ending is BEAUTIFUL

BLESSED and FORGIVEN Friday September 7th

God is so good and amazing ALL the TIME.
I think He somehow honored my turnaround yesterday (not the cussing - we are still in discussions about this) He used that low time for me to submit -- to give up my cross, so to speak -- and then when I did (i am a little slow - it took me most of the day) He blessed me with such an AMAZING - OUT of SIGHT day today!

• Tonya brought me a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte and we had a wonderful visit
• I enjoyed lunch with my mother in law (and dessert)
• I delivered 3 Pencil bouquets to teachers/employees at the school (i was blessed by their appreciation)
• A friend (Lisa) brought dinner over for my family
• Heath got off ON TIME and we all enjoyed dinner as a family (i don't know when we did that last)
• Heather stopped by for a visit
• Nicole came and hung out with me this evening

It was an AWESOME (and tiring) DAY!

The point is God knows I am going to mess up - I am going to fall down - but the BEST part of the story is - I AM FORGIVEN and LOVED anyway

so today I am felling blessed and forgiven - and though I am not worthy, I don't deserve it, I DIDN'T EARN IT - He has poured out HIS MERCY and HIS GRACE again and again -

ANGER September 6th THURSDAY

I have to admit the anger snuck up on me. It was like a nasty germ infecting my whole body. I wasn't even fighting it for most of the day. I found myself cursing my dryer.

Yep I said it -- I CURSE -- I am not proud of it but it is one of those things - like riding a bike -- you don't FORGET how to do it - when I feel things are out of control - when I am angry -- I jump on the CUSS WAGON -- It isn't pretty - OLD HABITS aren't always easy to shake -- don't get me wrong - I don't go around cussing in front of my kids - or dropping "F" bombs -- but in those little moments when I am by myself I will let out a D*amn it or a Sh*t -- and today my anger/frustration targeted my dryer as well as a family member (although i didn't cuss the family member)

You would think that having a $548 electric bill would mean that your towels would be dry when the dryer buzzed -- Let me say now - just for the record - that is not always the case.

Anyway around 5 or so I finally decided that being angry wasn't really helping and that it took far less energy to just get over it and stop trying to find reasons to be mad. The real reason I was made was that I have C A N C E R. It isn't anyones fault. It just happened. And I can choose to let it choke me with anger and resentment OR I can try to see the positive.

The positive being that I am learning to just GO WITH THE FLOW - I don't have to get every item checked off on my to do list everyday. SOMETIMES YOU NEED HELP and if you don't allow people to help you you are actually causing them to miss out on God's blessings (as well as the blessing it would be for you to HAVE their help)

So in closing, am I angry I have CANCER? -- YEP -- does that make a difference? -- NOT AT ALL --

AMERICAN GIRL DREAMS

Makenna - My little girl has wanted an American Girl for about 3 years (she had a friend in preschool that was an ONLY CHILD ;) and had all kinds of American Girl stuff) So my mother bought her the EMILY doll, with accessories, of course for her birthday.

It came in the mail yesterday. Yes, I know that Makenna's birthday was actually at the end of June but my mom wanted to make sure that this is what she wanted. We gave Makenna the big speech - You know you could get a lot of other stuff for $102 -- and while Makenna went back and forth on weather she wanted to get the MOLLY doll or the EMILY doll - she was certain she WANTED an AMERICAN GIRL DOLL

I can't even tell you or explain the excitement on her face. It was priceless. ***yes i did indeed take pictures, i am a scrapbooker after all***

Emily and Makenna were inseperable for the entire night - She even fixed a special spot for Emily on her bed.

This morning she put her doll back into the box and left her on the kitchen table so she could "unwrap her again when she got off the bus" - ISN'T that just the CUTEST THING!!!

So thank you MOM for making my little girls dream of owning her own REAL American Girl come true.

PERSPECTIVE on SALE for $10.15 September 04 2007

Tuesday was the first day for me to get the kids off to school on my own. My mother was here last week and Monday was a Holiday. It was rough. I won't lie. The alarm went off and I seriously thought about keeping the kids home for the day. Then I realized that wouldn't work. I had a dr. appointment and I could drag the kids along if we played hooky from school. ;)

Got them to the bus AHEAD of time. WHOOO HOOO SCORE 1 for Momma!!

Heath came home about 9 from Little Rock, Arkansas (job interview for Tulsa). I had gone back to sleep for about an hour after getting the kids on the bus. RELUCTANTLY I finally got up - showered - got ready for my doctor appointment.

The appointment went well - the doc said he hadn't heard from the surgeon so no news was good news but that he would call their office to get all the blood work/ pathology reports etc. He up'ed my Rx and said I needed come back in 2 months WHOO HOO - I was so excited to hear that that I decided to treat myself to lunch at the tea room. YEP I WENT ALL BY MYSELF

I came home to put my left overs in the fridge before picking my mother in law up from work (i had borrowed her car to go to the doctor) The phone was ringing and it was the dr's office. I immediately thought "I must have left my debit card" (a few nights before my surgery heath and I had dinner together and I left my card at the resturant) Unfortunetly, that WASN'T what the were calling about.

The nurse said that the doctor needed to speak with me as soon as possible about my pathology results - When could I come in? - I said if he can see me right now I can come but that I had to leave in 30 min. to get my mother in law from work. She said to come in.

I knew it wasn't good but something in me kept saying "Stop thinking the worst - it could be something else..... couldn't it?" That is were the doubt came sneaking in.

Shortly after arriving they called me back and I waited - probably only a few minutes but my mind was racing so it seemed like an eternity. He peeked in, as if to make sure he had the right room. I jokeingly said (with tear filled eyes) "You are scaring me - calling me back up here." He said down next to me and put his hand on my leg and said "I am so sorry" -- the tears are streaming down my face at this point -- "It is cancer."

We talked a little about his concerns (the fact that there was one larger spot with several smaller ones as well) - we talked about what would happen next, and then he asked if I had any questions -- I said I didn't think so

at one point I started to feel so embarrassed/ashamed of my tears that I said through a nervous laugh "I am so sorry, I don't know why I am crying" and his answer was "Because you have CANCER" --

Honestly he is such a great doctor - He is so funny - we are usually cracking jokes - at one time he even said -- "Everyone will be wearing funny suits (talking about when i have to stay in the hospital for radiation) you will get a big kick out of it" - then he said " You'll be GLOWING" of course I couldn't let that go so my reply was -- "what do you mean I am ALREADY GLOWING"
we had a little chuckle

I bravely made it out of the office and to the car and as i sat down in the drivers seat I felt like the whole car was in one of those salvage machines and it was all being crushed around me - I couldn't breath - I couldn't think - through sobbing and shallow breaths I called Heath and said he had to come home right away - He said to stay there and I said I had to pick up his mom and that I was going to talk to the pastor while i was at the church

I pulled it together so I could drive a few miles to the church - after all I couldn't walk in there BAWLING (or at least this was what I was thinking)

I made it inside and was going to take Drema (mother in law) her keys and then it happened. Ellie stopped me and wouldn't let me proceed - I was saying "No I am fine - I just need to give Drema her keys" and then she HUGGED ME -- and right then and there the wall fell and I couldn't hold in my tears anymore -- Ellie has the best hugs = Like a Momma Bear - She was soft and just for a second I forgot I was in the front of the church where EVERYONE could see me and let down me guard. After a few seconds this thought came back to me but I was way to gone -- I was in the midst of the UGLY CRY -- you know what I am talking about - the one with snot and lots of sobbing - By the time I tried to stop it - it was all I could do to breath -- then came the AFTER CRY -- you are trying not to cry but you are still doing the shallow breath thing

Ellie asked if I wanted her to get Drema and I just said I wanted to talk to Larry (our pastor) She got him for me. I kind of feel sorry for him looking back on it - You know that look in a man's eye when a woman is crying -- not sure if he was scared that I was crying or if he was just trying to figure out what was wrong - I was a MESS -- (insert more "AFTER CRY" here) Larry was great though He prayed with me and then I just refused to let anyone HUG ME --

I think I should make a shirt that says something like

PLEASE DON'T HUG ME
(you will make me cry - you know you don't want that)

I think it would be funny - don't you ???

After that I came home to my WONDERFUL HUSBAND who was perfect - he even let me bail out and go to HOBBY LOBBY for 1.5 hours (it takes a SUPER DUPER DAD to do that) Heath was great - He was there when I needed to just be held and told everything is going to be ok and he was there when I wanted to be left alone - when I wanted to get out - get away from all the phone calls - questions - and just get some GOOD OLE' RETAIL THERAPY

and surprisingly for the small price of $10.15 I left hobby lobby with a little perspective
(thanks Molly for helping me runaway for just a second - oh and for bringing me back home too)

PLEASE SIT DOWN

Ok -- I don't want anyone to freak out
so let me first say that EVERYTHING is GOING to BE FINE

but I need to say that yesterday I found out that I have cancer

The doctor said he was most concerned about the fact that there was one larger spot with several smaller spots growing

But I don't want you to worry because the truth is if you are going to have cancer - Thyroid cancer is the best kind to have -- the fatality rate is remarkably low and as long as we take care of it and just watch to make sure it doesn't pop up anywhere else IT WILL BE FINE

The sucky part is that I have to go back into the hospital for radiation (only 2-3 nights) but I hate sleeping (or not sleeping) at the hospital -- they come in every hour to check on you and takeyour blood pressure UUUGHHHHH

so there it is --
the ugly truth
just thought you should know

(i am going to be posting my thoughts and feelings here in the upcoming weeks -- so if mushy stuff isn't your thing then consider yourself warned ;)

Surgery went well

today was my first day back on the pc so just trying to get caught up
still recovering so I will post more of an update later

Changes

Today I found out that they changed the hospital and the date/time of my surgery. So now it will be MONDAY AUG 27 (which is my kids first day back to school)

Change is not always my strong suit -- ok lets get real - I HATE CHANGE - I like to "feel" like I am in control (even though I know that GOD is the only one who has any control) So when I have to start scribbling in my planner and rearrange all my plans (especially with such short notice) it grates on my nerves. So I am really trying to just LET GO and LET GOD through all of this

But for a gal that is an obsessive compulsive CONTROL FREAK -- it is FrEaKiN HaRd!!!!

Surgery is Scheduled

UPDATE (they changed it to MONDAY AUG 27th 2007)

found out yesterday that my surgery is
scheduled for Aug 30th at 10:30 am

so I have less than 8 days WOW - not a lot
of time to get all these little things around here done
and do a through CLEANING - Guess I will have
to be happy with just doing what I can :D

Noah is still improving - and I am SO SO THANKFUL
to see him walking around

The kids will start school on Monday -- seems like
the summer just zoomed by -- they are both VERY
EXCITED about it -

will try to update as much as possible but it really
just depends on how busy i am until the surgery and
how I feel after the surgery

Thanks for everyones prayers and support - I know
He hears you :D :D

Last Week's Run Down

SUNDAY (today) Laundry - grocery list/menu - Heath went to buy the groceries - catch up on email and paperwork - hopefully pay some bills -- Noah has already improved so much - he can walk up and down the stairs now - slowly but surely

SATURDAY - They said he had Transient Synovitis - and it can last 1 -3 weeks but he was able to go home - We were so thankful it wasn't something more serious - got home from Texas Childrens Hospital around 8am - So we slept for most of the day

FRIDAY - Noah had an X ray in the morning and his 2nd appointment for the day at 2:20 - his dr. said that the xray showed that his bone was protruding a bit (because of fluid) and that is labs also showed signs of fluid build up - he would need and ultrasound and probably have to have the fluid drained -- THIS IS WHEN I STARTED TO FREAK A LITTLE - She tried to get a hold of some pediatric orthopedics but they were all gone for the day already - She said we needed to take him down to Texas Children's Hospital and have him seen - apparently this fluid can damage the bone if it is left untreated - When Noah heard that he would have to go to the dr. AGAIN (this would be the 6th time in 2 days) all he could say was "I am not going to have to miss High School Musical 2, am I ??" I asked the dr. if he needed to go right away or if it was something that could wait until either his dad got off of work or possibly in the morning - she said she didn't want us to wait any longer than the morning
Noah got to watch High School Musical and when heath got home from work we took him down town to the Children's Hospital. They did an ultrasound (which was painful for him) and could see the fluid - since it was clear they said they weren't sure if they would drain it or not - his white blood cell count was normal also indicating that it wasn't infection so they tried to get in touch with his pediatrician to see if they wanted him to be observed for 24 hours - this took a while and around 7:15 am they came in and said Noah would be able to go home and we would just have to give him his meds and watch him and if it got worse bring him back in -- I was so so so happy that they didn't need to drain it --

THURSDAY - Noah woke up limping still. Noah had an appt. with his pediatrician in the A.M. - HE HAS STREP THROAT ? Crazy - no fever - no complaints of sore throat - but sure enough a positive throat culture - She didn't seem too concerned with his leg.
That afternoon he had an appointment with his Neurologist who could obviously tell he was in pain - by this time it was much worse and Heath and I were carrying him - at one point heath thought we should just skip his Neurologist appointment and take him straight to the ER - anyway the Neurologist recommended we either take him back to the dr. or take him to the ER - We stopped at my brother in laws house so he could give him a quick look see (he is an RN in the ER) He thought it might just be a pulled groin muscle. I wasn't really sure if it was something that warranted an ER visit or not so we called his dr. and since it was already after 4pm they told us to take him to the after hours clinic - they ended up doing some blood work (NOAH DIDN'T LIKE THIS PART AT ALL) and set him up for an Xray for the following day and another appointment. They were thinking it was Post Streptoccal Anthropothy were the strep virus settles in a joint causing it to collect fluid and become inflammed

WEDNESDAY - house stuff - Wed. evening Noah said his leg was hurting - he woke up in the middle of the night and was limping - I thought maybe he slept on it funny or something

TUESDAY - My last day of work - Officially a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) again :D :D

The CRaZyNeSS that is MY LIFE

right now -- this season -- it will pass -- and then i will look back and LAUGH at my worries - at my fears - at all the WRINKLES my anxiety has given me :D :D



Went back to the doctor last thursday to find out that all 3 tumors WERE NOT BENIGN one was and 2 of the test were inconclusive -- I guess when the doctor emails you "everything is ok, come and see me when you are back in town" it isn't the same as EVERYTHING IS BENIGN -- ooopsie -- at least i was able to relax some on the latter part of my vacation. So all of that being said I have an appointment on the 20th to meet with the surgeon for a pre op appointment. Will be having a subtotal thyroidectomy unless when they get in there it is cancer and if so they will have to remove everything. No worries (not too many at least) this way i will not have to see my endochrinologist every two months, but only once a year -- and what is a 4-5 inch scar on my neck anyway - NO BIG DEAL -- IT WILL BE SUPER COOL COME HALLOWEEN TIME -- at least this is what i am hoping - and if not guess i can invest in some turtlenecks



Thanks again for all your well wishes and cyber HUGS ;)

they are greatly appreciated



LoVE and BLESsInGs to you all

BACK FROM VACATION :D :D

just came back last night
we had such a great time
haven't unpacked yet or
gotten pics off my camera
so I will post more about our
trip later

but wanted to pop in and say
that we got some GREAT news
from the doctors on Wednesday
all three tumors were benign

YEAH -- have another appointment
on Thursday :D :D :D

Had my appointment with the specialists today. Didn't go as well as I had hoped but then again I was thinking something along the lines of "Those tumors are A o.K. don't even worry about them - come back and see me in a year"

well needless to say it went a little differently

I HAD TO HAVE 3 biopsies -- OUCH!!!!

i think that was just cruel and unusual punishment
I mean someone jabbing a needle up/down all around very near your voice box -
- NOT PLEASENT not at all
and really there is barely any "meat" there
a couple of time i could have swore he stabbed me right in the throat
and the fact that the dr. said it would feel "sort of"
(looking back that sort of should have been a clue) like
having your blood drawn -- THIS WAS A BOLD FACE LIE
and he knew it -- after he did the first I think he thought I
wasn't going to let him continue -- but since dh was there
I HAD TO

SO other than the painful needle jabbing -- and the fact that i heard the "C" word more times than i would like to it was a total success

Still sore but feeling much better than i did during the first two hours after the procedure

We will hopefully have some "C" free news next Tuesday

Please continue to keep me in your prayers

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day
Well.... I guess since it is after 2am it is TODAY
So ready to just get this dr. appointment over with
Something in the back of my head is saying that
it is all fine and after I meet with the dr. tomorrow
I will feel silly for worrying so darn much
but then there is that part that says that the
above mentioned thinking is to keep me from SOBBING
:D
Who knows ?!?!

Seriously -- all joking aside -- IT WILL BE FINE

Right now i think I am more concerned with my hubby
he just found out today the the promotion he was offered
has been rescended because they switched district managers
and now there is a new DM over the store that he was offered
I know he is disappointed and it may all still work out but I think
he is just so sick of all the back and forth stuff -- It is hard when
our husbands are disappointed - I so want to fix this for him
but it just isn't possible -- all I can do is pray - and though it
doesn't sound like much - I know it is HUGE - I know God
will continue to bless our little family - That is what faith is --
BELIEVING

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME

Honestly

the past week or two have been a tad overwhelming to say the least. Today it has been 11 years since the car accident that claimed the life of my little boy. This time of year is usually pretty tough, even after all these years.

As well as dealing with the feelings that this week brings up I have had 3 doctor appointments that... um... have been scary. Most people who know me know I don't always stay on top of my doctor appointments -- I mean we move A LOT - and at every new address I have to get a new
DENTIST
PEDIATRICIAN
NEUROLOGIST
OPHTHAMOLOGIST (sp?)
GENERAL PRACTICE
OB/GYN (not so much the ob part but i still need the gyn :D )
not to mention figure out where the nearest scrapbook store, Target, and Mall are ;) That is a lot to do ----so when we moved back to Houston I worked on getting everyone elses dr. appts and now about a year later I finally went for my visit.

Hadn't been feeling great for a few years now and had put on quite a bit of weight - I think I kind of knew something wasn't right and I mentioned it at my last visit but the dr. that saw me that day didn't seem concerned at all. So I went on about my merry way.

That brings us to last week -went for my "girly" visit and this doctor wanted to do some blood work so I had to come in during a particular "time of the month" - a specific day in fact and have the said blood work done -- When I returned for this appointment (MONDAY) the doctor noticed that my thyroid seemed enlarged so she ordered blood work for that - Then she said she wanted to have me get an ultrasound - Which I had on WEDNESDAY-

I was positive something was wrong when they did the ultrasound because it took longer than normal - The tech left 2 different times to speak to the dr. (not a good sign) and then when I tried to milk her for info she assured me that my dr. would be contacting me in the next 24 hours. ---- Also not good since I had to go to a different clinic to have the ultrasound in the first place -- They never turn them over that fast - it is usually a few days (2 or 3 AT LEAST) - another "not so great sign"

But I didn't have too much time to worry because I had to
go to work
then I had a hair appt.
then had to rush to pick up the kids
and finally pick up Heath
We we arrived home it was 7:30

Sure enough there was a message on my machine at 11:20am (my ultrasound was at 10am) from my doctor saying to call her back and that she needed to "discuss" the results with me
Since it was so late I was able to fret over the whole ordeal -- and boy was my mind in OverDRIVE -- I spoke with the doctor on Thursday and not only did they find a cyst and see that my thyroid was enlarged (i have previously had one removed- so i kind of figured there may be another one) but aparrently there were other "CAUSES FOR CONCERN"

they found abnormal growths both on my thyroid and in "OTHER AREAS" (really what ELSE could be in there)
and the Lab work concerned her as well
What this all means I HAVE NO IDEA

So now I get to go to my 4th dr's visit (during a 2 week period) to a Endocrinologist on Tuesday
Now REMEMBER I leave on Wednesday for my TSR RETREAT and I have already said I don't care if I have to drag an IV with me to KS - I am going on that darn retreat :D

So here is to FAITH
FAITH that EVERYTHING will be JUST FINE :D

SHINE

loved this pic of my hubby and i

liked the layout but wasn't in love with it

so i will probably scrap this picture again in

the future :D

Picture of me and my hubby 7-2007

Journaling reads:

When the sun is hard to find

When it's rainin in your eyes

When the shadows block those pretty

little blue skies living inside you

When the fallin of your tears

makes a candle disappear

when you just can't see the light

baby i'll find a way to shine

My Heart Belongs to YOU

Made this layout for my Hubby :D :D

It was a SCRAPLIFT Challenge on TSR

www.scrap-room.com

the challenge was to scraplift a layout

by Elsie Flannigan :D :D

LOVE how it turned out

Getting Ready to go on VACATION

This VACATION promises to be EXTRA fun
Not only do I get to go home and visit my family
I get to attend a TSR RETREAT (not just any retreat
the FIRST ANNUAL TSR RETREAT) I am super
stoked!!!

Can't wait to hang out with Erin and the other TSR gals
We are going to have such a BLAST

After the retreat we will stay in Tulsa to visit some of our
dear friends THE BAKERS -just in case you didn't know
i was talking about YOU ;) - you can check out Ashlee's blog here http://www.ashluvs2.blogspot.com/

Then we will head to my parents for a week
it will be our first time back home since we MOVED
and i can't WAIT

hope to have to cool pics on my return - :D

I love...

I love my husband

- strange how it seems like

we have spent a lifetime together-

being best friends - it is hard to remember

my life before he was in it - and honestly I

don't really want to --

I LOVE HIM COMPLETELY

My GIRL

another pic of my GIRL :D

well - just because .... because

it is MY BLOG and I can ;)

this is her --"Mom - I know it is my birthday

but HOW MANY FREAKIN' PICTURES are you

going to make me take" face

:D

MY little GIRL IS SEVEN TODAY!!

I can't even believe it - She seems to be growing by leaps and bounds - SO BEAUTIFUL - a little too big for her britches in the SASSY department - but man it is great to have a little girl - it is like a little mini young lady in training - she just recently went to get an mani/pedi for the first time with her aunt Christi and her Grandmommy - she came back with red fingernails and toenails and her big toe had a little flower on it - Super cute - They also took her to starbucks and to bath and body works too so she was TOTALLY being SpOiLED ;) - and she LoVeD every minute of it.

I wonder what GREAT things God has in store for her life - She wants to be a teacher right now but that of course could change next week or even tomorrow :D

Things I want to remember about her at this very moment are
She loves to sing (when no one is watching) She sings along with - her VBS cd from last summer - Hannah Montana - The Annie Soundtrack - High School Musical Soundtrack - and anything else she can get her hands on :D
She loves to be CRAFTY -- she makes cards - paints - her watercoloring is SUPER FAB - and I love how she leaves me little notes all over the house - mostly NICE ones but there have been a few she wrote when she was upset with me
She loves to CLEAN and ORGANIZE - better take advantage of that before she hits her teen years ;)
She is very dramatic - and the majority of the time it is quite comical - except when I am trying to cook or am on the phone ;)

Sharing a pic i took today :D

OMGOSH - I CAN POST

Thank you dear BLOGGER TECH PEOPLE

they finally cracked the code and HOOKED ME UP

I haven't been able to post in FOREVER --

ok -- now the truth --

as much as I put off blogging ALL THE TIME

I SOOO MISSED IT WHEN I COULDN'T ACCESS IT
that is totally like me - don't know a good thing
till it is gone ;)

as for the photo -- love this one of my boy -- very seldom

I capture HIM -- you know - really him -- a real expression

a real moment -- THIS IS MY BOY -- Love love love you son :D