:D

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

YOU CAN DO IT

8 batches of cookies down

now i have brownies and 4 batches to go

YOU CAN DO IT SHAWNNA

DON'T GIVE UP ;)

ok this post was kinda just a pep talk for myself

ok so i have accomplished quite a lot lately but i have a few things still to do - working on gifts for 4 people (should finish those tonight) - tomorrow i will dust and vacuum- hubby is going to the grocery store for me in the morning - ISN'T HE THE BEST FREAKIN HUSBAND IN THE WORLD?! - and then Sunday morning I will start cooking -- oh and I can't forget I need to clean the bathrooms -- maybe i can talk hubby into doing the toilets for me -- Nahhh - I better not push my luck ;)

Today I set up the little wooden block Nativity that the kids made for us while they were in preschool -- and it made me smile :D - they are growing so fast - I wonder what is in store for their lives - what things will they accomplish -- I wonder if Mary wondered the same things about Jesus???


Blessing to you this GLORIOUS Season

WOW

stumbled upon this over at Etsy.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=991

i find it very cool -- now how could i incorporate this style into my scrapbooks -- i see little "birdies" in my future -- FUN


and here is her blog
www.theblackapple.typepad.com

I'm late... I'm late

I'm late... I'm late
for a very important date
(like JESUS' birthday celebration)
No time to say HELLO
GOODBYE
I'm late
I'm late
I'm late

I so feel like that little white rabbit on Alice in Wonderland
so many projects so little time

Yesterday Makenna requested that we make a GINGERBREAD CHURCH -- really what mom could refuse that --

i somehow forgot about the kids P.E. Teachers - Music and Art Teachers too -- and the kids seemed devastated when I didn't have anything for them -- so now i will surely be up until 2 a.m. whipping up some goodies -- after all I don't want them to feel UNAPPRECIATED -- the kids adore them

So tomorrow it is Decorating and Parties up at the school -- should be fun -- Makenna is SO VERY EXCITED -- Noah is really looking forward to being at home -- I am looking forward to having them both here ALL DAY too -- we have some fun stuff planned

HIPPOS = PURE JOY

ok -- i am confessing

i love this

i have listened to it at least 100+ times

hope it brings a big smile to your face

http://www.minibite.com/christmas/hippo.htm

Christmas is NEAR

Christmas is NEAR
so very near
I started making some gifts last night
every year i promise not to wait until the
last minute and every year i save the "handmade"
gifts till the very end

pictures to come

Foster Care

FOSTER CARE

there I said it
OUT LOUD even

Heath and I have applied for a info packet on Foster Care -- I have wanted to do this for SO LONG -- it just seemed that we always said that we needed to do something first -- ex: fix the a/c - get new carpet - stop MOVING AROUND -- etc....

Well now is the time
I feel like God has just been REMINDING me over and over lately
like running into people who have adopted - emails from friends who are foster parents - it is on my mind constantly -- and even in my DREAMS

I am so EXCITED - and nervous too -- things like what if they don't think we would be good enough -- what if we don't get approved -- Is my HOUSE CLEAN -- just reading about what the home study includes made me anxious -- but I know that God has a PLAN - He already has the perfect child choosen for our home - someone whom we could HELP and someone who will TEACH us a thing or too as well

So my question for you today is - are you doing what God is CALLING you to do? --

for once I can say without a doubt -- I AM TRYING - really trying -- Really LISTENING to Him -- and ACTING --- sometimes the acting is the hardest part for me - sometimes I try to tell God "now just isn't a good time" He must get so aggitated with me -- I wonder if He rolls His eyes at me sometimes -- ;)

Merry Christmas to you all !!!!!!

DAY OFF

i almost forgot that i took tomorrow OFF to volunteer in Makenna's class -- YEAH -- that means only ONE more work day until HOLIDAY VACATION -- Wow - LIFE IS TOO SWEET

link to layouts

http://twopeasinabucket.kaboose.com/userprofile.asp?user_id=179059

random things to do

clean off my computer desk
finish the last 5 loads of laundry before we dirty up MORE CLOTHES
rewrite my to do list
take out trash
fix Leaning Tower of Pisa (Christmas Tree)
make layout for CJ and mail
mail 2 things I sold on Ebay
call the school about due date for yearbook $$
clean bathrooms -- actually CLEAN the WHOLE HOUSE
finish sewing makenna's Christmas outfit
write in the books that we are giving our preschool kids for Christmas (only three days left of PreK and then I am OFF until January)
???? and about 6000 other things ---

"Our Family has it ALL"

Noah was home sick from school today -- and he said the cutest thing while watching our two dogs play

"Our Family has it ALL"
i am sure to a 7 year old boy we do --
actually when i forget about debt and bills WE DO

to a little boy
2 dogs +1 turtle +1 sister +1 mom +1 dad = HAPPINESS

it really made me let go and be joyful in the little things -- stop thinking of all the really NICE expensive gifts I would LOVE to get for my hubby kids family and friends -- and to be thankful for all the GIFTS that have been given to me (and all of us) already -- God has such a fasinating way of opening my eyes -- :D

Tagged

A - Available or single: only available to HEATH :D
B - Best Friend: my Husband
C - Cake or Pie: CUPCAKES with buttercream icing
D - Drink of choice: Starbucks or Sweet Tea
E - Essential Item you use everyday: toothbrush - paper / pen - sharpie - pony tail holder - headband (when i wash my face) ??? wish i could say i use my Bible everyday but not every single day - I should WORK on that
F - Favorite color: RED and GREEN no wonder I love Christmas
G - Gummy Bears or worms: worms
H - Hometown: Krebs/McAlester area - OKLAHOMA
I- Indulgence: capping off a trip to target with a HOT cup of ANYTHING from Starbucks
J - January or February: both - heath's bd is in Jan. and Valentine's day is in Feb
K - Kids & Names: Aasin, Noah, and Makenna
L - Life is Incomplete Without? Jesus Christ - my hubby - and my kids
M - Marriage Date: 10-25-97
N - Number of Siblings: 3bro, 1 sis (all are 1/2 siblings)
O - Oranges or Apples: gala apples
P - Phobias or Fears: lately- car rides
Q - Fave Quote: can i quote a whole chapter?? John 14 "Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me...... I go to prepare a place for you.....I will come again and receive you.... where I am, there you may be also... JESUS
R - Reason to Smile: JESUS -- do you know Him??? I would love to introduce you :D
S - Season: summer or fall
T - Tag 3 or 4 people: ????
U - Unknown Fact about Me: I am pretty darn sensitive (or did ya already know that ??)
V- Vegetable You Don't Like: Asperagus -- I want to like it - i just DON'T
W - Worst Habit: obsessing
X - Xrays: I have had lots of these -- I played sports in school - All of them
Y - Your Fave Food: chocolate
Z - Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Wednesday NOVEMBER 29

look what Santa brought EARLY for Makenna -- (daddy is a sucker for dogs and honestly - I was just tired of being the bad guy) so this is the newest addition to our family -- A beagle (6wks old) named ISABELLA (makenna named her of course)
Noah wanted to name her Brittney - and he was pretty presistant but Makenna wasn't having it - When I asked if maybe he had a friend in his class named Brittney he said no - so then i had to ask - WHY do you want to name her Brittney -- his response "BRITTNEY SPEARS, MOM" with sort of the DUH look on his face -- OH MY GOODNES -- how does he even know who Brittney Spears is ?????????

any way - back to the dog
A month or so ago Heath had the idea that he would take the kids up to the pet store to look at the animals - they ended up at the parking lot in Wal-Mart looking at FREE puppies -- and lets just say it ended VERY BADLY -- the kids wanted one Heath wanted one and I vetoed the whole deal --- anyway Makenna comes up with this idea that she is going to ask Santa for a puppy - (i guess santa trumphs mommy in her mind) ;) I tried to explain that Santa knows that Mommy and Daddy said she could get a puppy (or a pet of some kind) on her next birthday (she will be 7) that was how it ended and then one of Heaths employees needed to get rid of the puppy she bought -- FOR FREE -- she has papers and came with FOOD , a crate, puppy clothes, hair bows, snacks, you name it -- SO Makenna ended up with her puppy and really it is only 6 months till her birthday so it isn't that big of a deal

WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON??

let's see - I always seem to start out with the best intentions -- something like "this week, I am going to blog about something - for 10-15 minutes per day" --

Did it happen -- NO

not because of anything huge - but just because i didn't make the time for myself to do it -- I have a big problem with that - I very rarely take time for myself and then I feel the resentment sort of BUILD UP in me -- the "I am worth an evening of SCRAPBOOKING" -- I should be able to take the time to PAINT MY FREAKIN toenails -- the idea that getting my hair trimmed is important (i miss you ashlee) -- and all the other things most moms tell themselves

but the truth is -- I DO DESERVE it -- not only deserve it but I require it -- I find that i am a better WIFE and MOTHER when I do it -- so starting today I am going to carve out some time for myself

dipped in HONEY

about two weeks ago Noah said something that I don't want to forget - so I am adding it here

We were talking about Mr. Tucker's TREE (it is a maple and I have loved it since the first time we viewed the house -- it is right across the street - just a little to the left ) anyway -- we were at the bus stop talking about how beautiful it was - and how God created such great beauty in even the smallest of leaves -- and then Noah said -- "Mom, it looks like he dipped it in HONEY" -- and I must admit -- when you said that I got a little choked up --

so thanks for letting me post that here -- hopefully i will scrapbook it soon --- I know i have some pics of Mr. Tucker's Tree around here somewhere ;)

THANKSgiving

We had a GREAT Thanksgiving
and we had SO MUCH to be thankful for.
It was great being able to celebrate with my sister in law and her family. This year
I WAS PROMOTED
- you see I am usually the paper products and plastic utensils girl - but since my mother in law went out of town - I was able to HELP with some of the cooking -- now don't get me wrong - my sister in law is no dummy - SHE kept all the more difficult (combo dishes - those containing more than one item) things for herself but here is all the stuff we made -- and it was all so YUMMY

Me
Green Beans (del monte - but i added some bacon)
Ham (Black Forest - our fam's fav)
Corn (HO HO HO green giant) frozen with a whole stick of BUTTER
Mashed Potatoes (my hubby made these)
PIES - Apple PUMPKIN and Pecan (all courtesy of SAM'S CLUB)
Rolls (brown and serve)
and the big one -- THE MAC AND CHEESE -- (i followed Paula Deen's recipe on this and I was so glad I didn't screw it up) THANKS PAULA!

Melissa (sister in law)
Dressing
Turkey Breast
Sweet Potatoe Casserole
Brocolli and Rice Casserole
Green Bean Casserole
deviled eggs
and some sort of blueberry and grape jello concoction

It was so fun to help out -- who knows maybe next year I will get to make some casseroles ???? :D :D ;) :D

LEAF FIGHT

What kind of Mom would I be if I didn't let them THROW some LEAVES

Fall Pictures

My Noah =-= with his "MOM do I have to take a Picture?" SMILE :D -- He has been in this picture FUNK for a while now -- it sure would be easier on him if he would just SMILE for the Camera -- after all MOM isn't going to give up SCRAPBOOKING anytime soon ;)

Fall Pictures

this one IS posed but still cute ;)

Fall Pictures

This is SO Makenna - I love how this photo is just HER - being a KID - playing in the LEAVES -- not posed - just her

The Eve of Thanksgiving

This evening I am thinking of ALL the GOODNESS that God has heaped upon me and I can't help but think WHY ME? I did nothing to deserve this GREAT life that I have - but He gave it to me anyway

As I sip on my Starbucks coffee (breakfast blend) with my GINGERBREAD creamer - (i am in love with all things GINGERBREAD lately - not to mention the Bath and Body Works SPICY GINGERBREAD CANDLE) I think of how THANKFUL I AM FOR THE FOLLOW

*God gave His very BEST - His own SON to die in MY PLACE so that I could have a relationship with HIM
*I was born in a country were I can SPEAK my MIND and my BELIEFS without fear of persecution
*I am BLESSED with the GREATEST HUSBAND in the WORLD -
*Noah - my sweet son - whose HEART is BIGGER THAN TEXAS
*Makenna - my beautiful daughter - whose CREATIVITY and ZEAL inspire me daily
*and for all my FRIENDS and FAMILY both IRL and in cyberspace :D

TODAY 11-20-06

ok so it is no longer my birthday and i am feeling the need to make up for all the SLACKING i did over the weekend

i need to

CLEAN
LAUNDRY
SCRAPBOOK
THANK YOU NOTES
COOK DINNER
EDITED PHOTOS

so now i guess i should get started

SUNDAY 11-19-06

Sunday

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY -- strange even saying it cause it doesn't FEEL like anything special anymore -- just another year - another day -- is that what happens as we get older -- days turn to months which turn to years and before you know it YOU ARE OLD -- nah -- just kiddin -- i am still VERY YOUNG -- VERY VERY YOUNG -- at least that is what i am going to keep telling myself

Got the Ham for Thanksgiving today -- BLACK FOREST -- our fam's FAVORITE -- I love going to SAM's or CostCO -- those places are so FUN!

Saturday 11-18-06

Saturday

just figuring out that i didn't have a camera with me last night BUMMER - told dh that he would have to do it all over again because if there are no pictures - THEN IT DIDN'T happen ;) ha ha ha

Heath and I spent today returning stuff - did a little Christmas Shopping - and most importantly HAD STARBUCKS -- YUM -- that has to be one of my most favorite things -- STARBUCKS - i love that place -- oh and we went to CHINA VIEW -- my fav chinese resturant

Picked up kids and we all watched ELF together -- Will Ferrel is HILARIOUS - love him

and then dh had some buddies over to watch a UFC fight (i cleaned up my scraproom)

Friday 11-17-06

Friday
Today is the kids last day of school -- Makenna had to have 24 apple slices for her thanksgiving feast today -- Noah's feast was yesterday - he only needed two bananas -- NO CUTTING involved -- :D

The kids are staying at the in-laws tonight because heath and I are going out to dinner -- should be fun -- he won't give me too many details and his story isn't staying the same so i think SOMETHINGS UP???

EDITED
YEP I was Right
heath had a whole SURPRISE thing going -- he had two of my closest friends (and their hubby's) meet us at the resturant -- We had so much fun just hanging out -- we were at the table for 3+ hours -- Hope the waiter doesn't despise us ;)

Thursday 11-16-06

Thursday was a great day at work --
We had our Thanksgiving Feast and all the parents/ siblings were invited to come and eat -- FUN STUFF -- out of two classes only one child didn't have parents there to eat with her :( not to worry though she got to eat with her teacher -- which she thought was WAY COOL - I was requested to dine with one of my students and his family -- they were so sweet -- the little boy even decided that i needed a nickname and dubbed me Miss Shawnna PUMPKIN -- with "pumpkin" as my nickname -- he was precious --
SO NOW I AM OFF FOR 11 DAYS -- wow -- what a great way to go into the holiday -- I love work days like today

LONG TIME NO POST

ok -- so though i don't have many readers - i like to pretend that i have a following ;) ok now i am LAUGHING and my kids are looking at me strangely -- really though -- i didn't even realize it had been so long since i had posted on my blog -- so for all of you who have been waiting patiently - INSERT MORE CHUCKLES -
I AM BAAAACK!!

HAMBLY HEAVEN

ok - so i shouldn't have
but i did
i bought some
SCREEN PRINTS
by HAMBLY
and just to note
they were 50%
off -- NOW which
one of you scrappers
could have turned down
that deal ???!!!???

More SHOPPING

So a little more shopping today
it was much more FUN today
totally gettin' into the spirit of giving
and that got me thinking - "WHAT IF
I KEPT THIS SPIRIT ALL YEAR" - what
if we all did --

the world would be a much happier
place to live in - don't you think??

GIFTS

Well - we have started our Christmas shopping - and i must say - it doesn't seem like we get as much for our $ as we used to - I feel extra stressed lately - when i should be JOYFUL in my gift giving - i find myself a little down about it - i am praying that God will give me peace about it - seems like i just don't want to spend $$$ -- i think i am always worried that something is going to happen - like the fridge will go out -- or something on the a/c will go out (this one happens a lot - so it seems) you know what i mean - those big ticket things that you never plan for - and it is not only the money spending that has me anxious but the wondering if the gift RECEIVER will like the gift -- ok so "like" isn't what i am shooting for - I want them to LOVE it -- I want it to give them the "awwe" feeling -- the "this person really cared enough to pick something for me" feeling -- Maybe i am just putting to much pressure on myself -but for me Christmas is the only time i really get GIFTS -- my family and my husbands' family always give $ for birthdays and such (which almost always goes toward some extra bills) - so i guess when i am shopping i just want to get them something EXTRA SPECIAL --

What are your CHRISTMAS SHOPPING stresses or joys?

Halloween

ok -- i know this is late - but honestly, i have tried to post it several times - blogger must have a bone to pick with me or somethin :(

so here are my CUTIE PIE KIDDOS -- super duper cute aren't they ???

Makenna was Little Red Riding Hood (although i don't think i got one single picture of her with the hood on/up) and Noah ended up being a Storm Trooper - Originally he was going to be the BIG BAD WOLF - but somehow that was lost in translation and he thought i said he could be a werewolf - once he realized i wasn't going to budge on the WEREWOLF thing - he decided to be the STORM TROOPER -- but i must say - i didn't mind the change because i was having trouble finding a BIG BAD WOLF costume anyway - It was kind of strange because this is the first year he really wanted to be something SCARY - while searching Target online he was picking the zoombies and the grimm reaper costumes -- SCARY --

does this mean my little boy is growing up?

question for you: DO YOU LET YOUR KIDS WEAR SCARY COSTUMES FOR HALLOWEEN??

Excuses

This weekend God taught me a Great lesson
it started by me needing to go on a Retreat
for work -- kind of like a training weekend
from Friday thru Saturday -- I really didn't
want to go -- I had been under the weather
and was coming up with every excuse to skip
out on the event
>didn't want to leave my kids - after all heath
and i had just spent the previous weekend
alone and i MISSED my kiddos
>didn't want to mess with the hassle of taking
the kids to my sister in laws - driving in traffic
to drop them off and them having to drive back
through traffic to pick them up
>didn't want to do laundry before the weekend
just so I would have clean clothes to wear to
this retreat - and the house looked disasterous
>didn't want to share a bed with people i work with
i don't like sharing beds with people (except for my
hubby that is) just seems WEIRD to me
>didn't know if i would LIKE one of my roomates
(very UNchristian of me HUH)

I could go on and on I had it all worked out in my head
I didn't NEED to go - It was going to be horrible
but you know what -- IT WASN'T HORRIBLE - It
was great - and God really should me that HE is in
CONTROL - (he shows me this A LOT - but i am a
little hard headed, if you know what i mean) The
kids were fine and had a great time with their cousins
the house didn't fall apart - and in fact it looked better
when i got home than when i left -- THANKS BABE --
Heath was able to come home to drive the kids there
My roomates were great and i really enjoyed getting
to know them better (hopefully i won't be so quick to
judge from now on) and just for kicks He provided
me with my own FOLD OUT SOFA -- I didn't have
to share a bed with a stranger after all --

GOD is GREAT even in the LITTLE things - like fold
out sofas

Anniversary cont.

these are the flowers
my hubby got me for
our anniversary
isn't he SWEET!

9 years together

Today Heath and I have been married for 9 years.

WOW

today i was thinking about how drastically my life has changed in the past 10.5 years that we have been together - all we have been through - the death of my son, Aasin- our marriage at such a young age - the birth of our son Noah and our daughter Makenna - accepting CHRIST as my Lord and Savior - moving around so much ;) - all of our financial ups and downs - and the regular day to day stuff - trying to make time for each other - as well as time for our FAMILY -

when i think about the number 9 i can't even believe it -- I can remember being married for 3 years - but sometime after that it seems we must have hit a time warp -- NINE - that is a big NUMBER -- 9 -- WOW -- where did it go -

no matter what the number I can say this -- i love my husband more today than i did NINE years ago when i said "I DO" -- and if you would have asked me on that day - "could you possibly LOVE heath anymore tomorrow than you do today" my answer would have been "NO WAY -- it isn't possible for me to love him anymore" - but see that is what is so amazing - Not only did GOD bless me with Heath and his love for me - but he blessed ME with LOVE - a love for HIM - a love for Heath - and a HAPPINESS that I thought I would never feel

so here is to Happily Ever After --
No matter what

"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9

54 hours

54 hours ? what does that mean you ask ??
the number of HOURS that my husband and I spent ALONE this weekend --

Our Anniversary (9th) is on Wednesday and we were supposed to go to a beach house in galveston (that was cancelled at the last second) so instead of just scraping the whole thing we decided we would have our romantic getaway at our VERY OWN HOUSE -- IT WAS FABULOUS --

I couldn't believe that heath had made all the Beach House plans by himself -- (it wasn't his fault it was cancelled) He arranged for childcare - someone to feed the dog and the turtle -- EVERYTHING -- I was IMPRESSED -- and so thankful -- so even though we didn't do what he had planned (he was more upset about it than i was) I was SO THANKFUL that he put some thought and effort into it -

We really did have a blast -- after all -- we know where the BEST RESTURANTS are here -- and all the great SHOPS --etc. We rented several movies and just cuddled and slept in -- went to the mall -- just did whatever we FELT LIKE DOING --

I so missed him when he went to work today -- bummer - back to the REAL WORLD i guess

The kids had a great time at the in laws -- they were able to spend their allowance $ - and they made carmel apples - went to the park --

Whoo Hooo

I FREAKIN WON SOMETHING from CK

http://www.creatingkeepsakes.com/contests/files/contest.207.html

So excited -- I haven't won anything on CK before and I am always entering their give aways ---- FUN --

bummer

bummer

just read that Rhonna is closing her blog - Cathy Z already shut hers down and Tara is no longer a Garden Girl at 2peas -- WHAT IS THIS WORLD coming to???

- GASP -

These ladies have all inspired me in so many ways. I will for sure miss stalking Rhonna and Cathy on their blogs, and I will SO MISS seeing Tara's creations at 2peas.

Thanks Ladies

myspace

finding so many old friends on myspace -- where have i been?? -- and why didn't i sign up sooner?

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=118716171

Stop this Train

Layout I did last week

http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/pg.asp?cmd=display&layout_id=1002301

Friday - Saturday

I have been horrible about keeping up with my blog lately - SORRY

Friday -- had a WW meeting -- gained 0.4 pounds but i am thinking it was just the CLOTHES ;) seriously - we had a 75 degree day and i had a long sleeve shirt on and pants instead of my usual sleeveless shirt and gaucho attire -- that could be it, RIGHT?? really though i am getting so frustrated measuring out EVERYTHING -- takes up a lot of TIME - and as a working MOMMY i don't have lots of that to spare -
after the meeting Molly and i spent the day together -- I AM SO THANKFUL that God has brought us together - she is a great friend and we are having so much fun together -- and no i am not saying this because she bought me a starbucks coffee on friday ;) we ended up getting the kids off the bus and playing down at her house - and we all had dinner together - and can i just say that her hubby did some amazing work in the kitchen -- i was seriously impressed -- KUDOS to you MIKE!

Saturday -- nothing out of the norm -- heath had to work and i read A LOT -- and tried to do some laundry - straightened up the house -- nothing to exciting

RECAP

Friday 10-6 -- went to Weight Watchers meeting - lost 1.6 pounds - not bad - would have liked to loose more but i am not complaining - at least i lost and didn't gain -- rode 6 miles on my bike -- WOW -- making my total for the week 26miles

Saturday 10-7 my nephew stayed the night with Noah -- they played so well together - not one single disagreement -- HEATH WAS OFF of work - enjoyed having him home with us

Sunday 10-8 - heath bought shipley donuts -- can you say SABATOGE-- bought me two MAPLE DONUTS my fav -- i couldn't resist - after all if i didn't eat them they would go to waste -- no one else likes maple -- POINTS are RUINED for the day -- i couldn't even find out how to look up the point in the book -- THAT MUST BE A BAD SIGN ;)

Monday- 10-9 kids were out of school -- PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE DAY -- it went very well -- Makenna scored 100% on her bench mark tests and Noah wasn't very far behind her -- Teachers had nothing but positives to say about the kids -- WOW -- that is a GREAT FEELING -

Tuesday - 10-10 WORK -- came home with a little headache that turned into a migraine - went to bed at 6 pm and didn't get up until 6:30 the next morning -- OUCH

Wednesday - 10-11 WORK -- usual day -- made the kids chili dogs for diner and then realized i couldn't / didn't want to eat them -- the hot dog itself had 5 points - not counting the bun or the chili and cheese(the good stuff) -- :( -- i really wanted that darn CHILI DOG -- so i ended up eating 5 points worth of DARK CHOCOLATE hershey kisses -- i should have just eaten the freakin hot dog

also did a layout on Monday -- here is the link if you would like to check it out http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/pg.asp?gallery=1&cmd=display&layout_id=1002301

Happy Birthday Nicole

to one of my very BESTEST friends
I wish you a lifetime of BLESSINGS and HAPPINESS
I luv ya girl!!!

I am STILL HERE ;0)

I am still here
Heath has been working a lot of hours
several open to close shifts -- but almost
always CLOSING so he isn't here at all until
the kids are in bed asleep
Which is HARD for THEM and ME (and i am sure it
is tough on Heath too -- I am really starting to feel it
- I am a little run down -- I guess there are times like
this that make me think "Heath giving the kids their BATHS is a
BIG DEAL " I really miss him being here in the evenings

Makenna is really testing me lately -- she seems to ask WHY anytime i say something she doesn't like -- URGHHH -- That is SO disrespectful - so hopefully today I made it clear that saying "WHY" is the same as ARGUING / and is TALKING BACK -- we shall see ;0)

Noah had a tough time on the bus today - he is feeling lonely and even told me he was "all alone - just like a MONK" where does he get these things - i just don't know but we talked through it - hopefully tomorrow will be easier for him

I am going to Weight Watchers tomorrow -- EEEEKK --- nervous about weighing in --- I feel off the wagon last week end as far a food is concerned but i have rode my bike 4 times this week already - going 4 miles every night -- but today i went during the day before the kids got off the bus and i only did 2 miles -- it was +90 degrees so i am thinking it was still ok -- i was dying out there in that heat -- OUCH --

OKRA -- and BIKES

tonight at LUBY'S
i offered my daughter some fried OKRA - because she
said her "green beans tasted funny" - which really meant
that she didn't want them because she was eyeing her
strawberry cheese cake - :D

any way -- she said "No thanks, Mom, I don't like Oprah"
and the funny thing is that she really thinks that it is called OPRAH
TOO CUTE!!!
I think I see a OKRA scrapbook page in my future ;)

as for Noah - well he has learned to ride a bike ---
STOPPING and TURNING are another story ;) -- he hasn't gotten
those down yet -- to stop he slows down and just bails off the bike altogether and when he turns he doesn't always keep pedaling -- so the bike slows down and just sort of tumps over -- he is so cute though and just so EXCITED -- Heath has worked with him 2 different times for about 30-60 minutes each time -- I really thought it would take longer for him to get the balance thing down - but it just goes to show HE can do all things through CHRIST --- SO STOKED for him -- this is a really big deal for a little boy - any little boy - but I think it may be just a little more important to my little boy - a boy who happens to have Tourette Syndrome - So CONGRATULATIONS to you, NOAH, my dear sweet boy - and not to worry - you will soon learn to STOP and TURN the bike too -- I just KNOW it

CONGRATS to you ASHLEE

My Super Artsy friend ASHLEE won the first Challenge on the Autumn Leaves ColorBlog

here is the link to view her awesome Layout
http://www.autumnleaves.com/colorBlog/2006/09/our-challenge-1-winner-is.html

Season of Change

Today the air was cooler
and it was so refreshing
Heath and I enjoyed a one
mile walk together after the
kids went to school
Just walking and talking
and sharing
It was REALLY NICE

I opened the windows today
and let in the delicious fresh
air - it was so cool and uplifting

The breeze was gentle and
all day I witnessed God's
CREATIVITY -- from the
leaves on the tree in
Mr. Tuckers yard that
are turning a VIVACIOUS
YELLOW to the PALE PURPLE
morning glories that continue
to grow in my front flower bed
no matter how many times i pull
out the vine (not sure why i keep fighting
them) ;) It has been a BEAUTIFUL DAY

I am really feeling a sense of change - and
i don't mean just the change of SEASONS
from SUMMER to FALL but more like
I am in a SEASON of CHANGE

things are really different now that
we moved back
Not BAD different - just different

I think I imagined we would just pick up
were we left off but i am finding that that
isn't what GOD has planned --

Even our old Small Group at church
has disbanned and everyone is joining
OTHER groups (we were in this group
since 2001 so it seems really
weird right now)

I am also finding myself missing
my MOPS group as well (mothers of preschoolers)
but now that Noah and Makenna are both in school
I don't really FIT anymore -- ;) and since we aren't
having anymore children - well, you can see
where i am going with this -- ;)

I really feel like I am on the edge of something
- not sure what it is but I feel like GOD is
preparing me for something - PREPARING
ME FOR CHANGE ---- I am
excited to see what HE unfolds - HE never
ceases to AMAZE me --

"Behold, I tell you a mystery; we shall not all
sleep, but we shall all BE CHANGED..."
1 Corinthians 15:51

BLESSINGS to you all

Happy Birthday Momma

Happy Birthday Momma
I love you so much !!!

Magic Mommy Wand

now that Makenna is SICK -
i am starting to think we have some
serious STREP COOTIES in the house
can we say CLEAN LINEN LYSOL

makenna got sick on Monday night and was vomitting every few hours during the night - i thought it was some sort of stomach virus but she couldn't keep anything down on tuesday - so i called her doctor's office and left a message for a nurse to call me - when they finally called me back 6 hours later (6:00 p.m.) the nurse said to bring her in because some of the other kids with strep have been vomitting as well- she had a doctor apt today -- SHE HAS STREP TOO -- she seemed to be feeling better and even ate a little today around 3 (she wouldn't eat dinner though) - but then tonight she started vomitting again -- i felt so bad for her - i am sure you moms know how hard it is when one of your children are sick -- they cry and beg and plead for you to fix it - to make them better - Makenna was crying saying "Mommy what will make it stop? I don't want throw up to come out of my nose - it hurts" --- I REALLY wished i could WAVE my "magic mommy wand" and take it all away -- so tonight i am thinking -- I REALLY NEED THAT FREAKIN' WAND -- if any of you know where we sign up to receive one -- let me know would ya

Noah LO

this is a picture of Noah
isn't he ADORABLE
i used the GO FISH kit
that came in this months
TSR shipment
www.scrap-room.com

Sleeping Beauty LO

pic is of Makenna

Freestyle Flowers

this is of Makenna on her 6th Birthday --
Layout was inspired by one done
by DANIELLE THOMPSON
( she ROCKS!)

Pretty Is LO

did this layout for an ALI EDWARDS CHALLENGE on TSR

Sweet Slumber LO

Heath and Makenna

did this for an ELSIE challenge #5 (Embellish a Floral Accent) on TSR - www.scraproom.com

SUPER VIRUS

Ok so after another trip to the doctor I found out that I must have some sort of SUPER strep VIRUS -- because the last round of antibiotics didn't kill it -- so now another prescription $$$ and co-pay later $$$ - maybe i can finally KICK this thing --

But on a positive note - my mother in-law made us some killer chicken and dumplings with corn bread -- YUM YUM

Thursday's Thoughts

STREP THROAT is kicking my butt

-- found out i had strep throat yesterday and am now missing my second day of work - I HATE MISSING WORK -

then while Heath was cooking dinner last night (he did this cause i was sick) the oven CAUGHT ON FIRE -- (we think it was just from grease or something) anyway - i realized we didn't have a fire extinguisher - GO OUT AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A COUPLE OF THESE - so Heath ran next door for an extinguisher and i took the kids outside - heath was able to put the fire out - my son was FREAKING out - dd was just wanting to know when the FIRE TRUCK was coming - anyway black smoke was everywhere - (it is a good thing we have two sets of french doors in the family room -which is connected to the kitchen) we just opened the doors - turned on some fans and watched as the smoke and dust from the fire extinguisher billowed out of the house --- Anyway the kids went to my in-laws house and we began CLEANING - which took about 4 hours - so the kids came home and took a bath and were in bed at 9 their usual bedtime is 8 at the latest - so lets just say we had a hard time getting them off to school today -

so today i think i feel worse than YESTERDAY - and had a fever AGAIN this morning

and on top of all of that i am so stressed about money lately -- YUCK -- i wish we could go back to BARTERING

ok i am through whining -- thanks for listening

SICK

I really dislike being sick
FEVER / headache / Sore throat
and just feeling YUCKY

fever finally broke tonight at around 9:30pm -- feeling a little better - well, enough to check out a few blogs and TSR anyway -

9-11

9-11
I can't believe it has been five years.
today made me stop and think for a
while about several BIG DAYS in my
life - where i was - what i was doing

The Challenger - OKC Bombing -The
Car Accident that Claimed My Son's
Life - Princess Di's Death - Sept. 11 -

today i took a step - a step to regain
control over my weight -- I went to
a Weight Watchers meeting - and let
me just say the it wasn't anything like
what i had imagined - but then again
what i was imagining was something
like a boxing match where the announcer
says in a booming voice "IN THIS CORNER
WEIGHING IN AT A WHOOPING ___
lbs. HEAVYWEIGHT SHAWNNA _____"
lets just say i was TERRIFIED
but it was ok - and it really seems like something
HEALTHY that i can do - no more fad diets for
me - this is something that i could do forever

Curriculum Night -- Very happy that BOTH
of the kids teachers had nothing but PRAISES
for my kids -- THAT WAS AWESOME

A WHOLE WEEK

i can't believe it has been a whole week since i blogged -- OMGoodness -- i have been such a BAD BLOGGER -- SHAME ON ME --- ;)

things of course have been busy - still trying to find me groove -- if you happen to see it running around - please send it home to me --

on a positive note -- LAUNDRY is almost CAUGHT UP -- Heath helped me out last night - he did a load of dishes and several loads of laundry -- What a GREAT husband i have -- LOVE that GUY -- he helps me out a ton -- i usually have to ask - because like most guys HE CAN'T SEE DIRT - so he doesn't just do something because it NEEDS to be done - but if i ask him for help he always lends a hand -- :D

also this weekend is the online crop at the scrap room -- www.scrap-room.com - it is from 4pm - 12am - friday and saturday -- we have lots of "classes", challenges, and of course games and prizes -- My class has to do with FLOWERS and is tonight from 10-12 so stop in and say HI would ya -- ;)

Friday

I made it - it is finally FRIDAY --
today I have to clean the house and i
am hoping to clean the carpets - and
hopefully manage to FINISH the laundry
that i have been "working" on ALL WEEK
So now that i am adorned with my GRUBBY
CLOTHES -- the CLEANING MUST BEGIN
after i blog of course ;)

Actually I don't really have much to say
but i will continue to ramble if it means
a few more minutes without having to
scrub toilets -- Do you ever find yourself
blogging for no apparent reason - without
anything SPECIAL to say - just to get out
of something that will still be waiting for you
once you publish the post you are working on-
If so, well, I guess we have something in common

2 cute things my kids said last night

Noah -- asked if he could have a WHOLE soda
and said that he once DRANK a whole soda at
grandmommy's house - and that is how he new
he was a REAL man - cause the TEST of a true
man is being able to drink a WHOLE CAN OF
COKE A COLA

Makenna - after opening a fortune cookie she asked
me to read the fortune - it said WELCOME CHANGE-
so what does my little girl do - she holds out her hand
and says - BRING ON THE MONEY -- (both kids just
started earning an allowance so she is all about money lately)

Hope you all have a SAFE and FUN holiday
weekend

blessings
:D

SERIOUSLY CHAOTIC

Seriously CHAOTIC around here -- it has been days since i vacuumed and i am surrounded by MOUNTAINS of LAUNDRY -- i really don't know how OTHER working MOMS get EVERYTHING done -If the MOMMY isn't home who does ALL the MOMMY stuff?- feeling OVERWHELMED -- i just keep telling myself NEXT week will be better (i will only work 3 days ;) hopefully ) maybe i can get the laundry tackled and at least vacuum the MIDDLE of the floor ;)

I have been so tired lately - ODDLY TIRED - going to bed at/before midnight tired --

I am almost ALWAYS up past 1 so this is SO STRANGE --

anyway i was thinking about a post i had read on Nitty Gritty (see link on the right side of my blog) - the post about BUMPER STICKERS and i was thinking - if i had to pick a bumper sticker for the way i feel RIGHT NOW it would read

NEED SLEEP

What would your bumper sticker SAY? :D

BUSY

BUSY

that is the only way to describe this week -- i really under estimated the amount of work involved in this job -- it has been pretty hectic -- and i am figuring out how to say NO -- which is really important sometimes

Sometimes saying NO to something extra at work means i can say YES to coloring with my children - or reading them that extra book at bedtime -- and you know what -- IT IS O.K. to say NO -- it doesn't make me a slacker - it doesn't mean i am not a HARD WORKER -- but i have to keep it ALL in PERSPECTIVE -- i took this job because it had GREAT HOURS and it would BE FUN -- if i get caught up in doing everything for everyone else there may not be enough of me LEFT OVER for my FAMILY -- and that would be a BUMMER -- so with this JOB -- unlike the others i have had - i am trying to stay focused on my priorities and not worry about always being the BEST and doing the MOST


note to self
PRIORITIES

GOD
FAMILY
then WORK

Disease???

wow -- how did it go from FRIDAY to TUESDAY so quickly -- i was really sad when the weekend was over and the kids were going back to school -- i am just not used to them BOTH being gone SO LONG -- i would homeschool them if they would agree to it -- just so i could be around them -- that would be selfish of me -- so NOPE i won't force them -- they love the SOCIAL aspect of school and they do really well academically so i can't really complain too much --

Started my NEW JOB and I am SUPER EXCITED -- I AM NOW Certified in CPR and FIRST AID again -- ;) -- i think after we get through the next week or two it is gonna be smooth sailing -- I know both of the teachers i will be working with -- that is great -- i think i would be NERVOUS if i didn't already know them --

Today i had a tuff moment with Noah -- BROKE MY HEART -- he asked if he would "grow out" of his tics ????? and my answer was -- well we don't know what will happen in the future - they probably won't ever go away completely -(his head dropped in disappointment)- but the good news is that MOST adults with Tourette Syndrome have fewer tics than when they were kids--- THEN -- he asked if it was a DISEASE -- OMGoodness -- it was all i could do to hold in the tears -- then i explained NO it wasn't a disease and that no one can CATCH IT from him -- but it was a genetic disorder and then we started talking about what genetic meant and DNA and a double helix -- then he wanted to draw a double helix so we looked it up on the internet -- anyway -- i said all this to say -- i think we ended on a good note but boy - there were a few minutes today that i just really wanted to fall to my knees -- So tonight i will be praying for my little boy -- and I ask you to do the same -- thanks :)

IT IS FRIDAY

wow - i am so happy it is friday -- today was super busy for me -- i cleaned the WHOLE HOUSE - top to bottom -- and finished about an hour before the kids came home -- it was so nice coming in from the bus stop to a CLEAN SMELLING house -- I LOVE FABULOSO (sp??) it is the CHEAP cleaner at walmart -- and it is PURPLE and it smells YUMMY -- i don't really know why i am sharing that info but oh well --

i cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more - and now i am pooped - i don't want to cook - it is just so FrEAKin HOT -- i was going to make fried chicken but i am tired and now i am thinking i should make something else instead ?????? decisions decisions decisions...... never mind that it is 5:45 and i haven't even started to cook

but in my defense i must add that all the moms sat outside and talked after the kids got off the bus and the kids all played - we were out there until about 4:30 then the kids came in and had SNACKS - so now they really aren't that hungry --

it was so crazy at the bus stop -- i took some layouts outside with me so i could photograph them in REAL LIGHT - (donated my scanner because i thought we were getting a new scanner/printer combo - and long story short - we had to use that money for something else) so now -me without a scanner -had to take photos of layouts outside then i realized my neighbor had level side walks (i don't) at least hers look more level ?? so i am out there like a total freak - taking pics of these layouts in broad daylight in front of all the neighbors -- (NONE of my NEIGHBORS scrapbook - so you could just imagine the look on there faces) -- Can we say CONFUSED -- hee hee -- but a scrappers got to do what a scrappers got to do RIGHT LADIES --


***PRAYER REQUEST***
Yesterday I found out some VERY SAD news about a friend -- she had a miscarrage - it is the 3rd one in about a year or so and i feel HORRIBLE for them -- i haven't talked to her so i am not going to share her name but if you could keep her and her family in your prayers I would really appreciate it --

8-17-06

I have a JOB
I have a JOB
I have a JOB
hey hey hey hey
~~~~~~~~~~
insert me doing the cabbage patch and then the running man
~~~~~~~~~~
i am so excited -- i am going to be doing something SO FUN and the schedule is perfect and it is at MY CHURCH -- THANK YOU GOD -- this is totally an answer to prayer and it is more PERFECT than i even imagined it could be -- I START ON MONDAY -- mostly i will work 3 days a week but sometimes 4 or 5 (only when we have workdays and such) so the next few weeks will be busy busy as we all adjust to this NEW SCHEDULE --

8-16-06 First day BACK TO SCHOOL

today the kids went back to school and Mommy went out in search of a part-time job -- feeling a little crazy but - it is usually like this until we get our schedule going - and find our GROOVE --

today my to do list included this
1. kids to school
2. Job hunt
a. Church MDO/Preschool Program
b. School
c. Hobby Lobby
3. find a teacher supply store to buy noah's MULTIMETHOD tablets with RED BASELINE

Heath and I got the kids on the BUS without a hitch -- we are becoming pros at this ;) I got them ready for school and he made pancakes -- We are running like a WELL OILED MACHINE

and I was SO BLESSED that i found a job at the CHURCH - my first stop - 3 days a week from 8:45 - 2:15 PERFECT for me -- they follow the same CALENDAR as the school district so when Noah and Makenna are out for holidays I WILL BE OFF -- i go in tomorrow for the FORMAL interview and we will talk specifics but right now it sounds like it is all going to work out ---- SURPRISE BLESSINGS are SO MUCH FUN!!

Found a great TEACHER supply store called BASIC something or another -- anyway it is HUGE and i found all 9 tables that Noah needed - YEAH!!!

the kids came home so EXCITED about school -- AND HUNGRY of course ;)

Noah ate POPCORN chicken in the CAFETERIA -- this is huge for him -- he always eats the same thing -- PB&J sandwich -- so for him to TRY SOMETHING NEW -- is HUGE people -- WAY HUGE

Makenna said her favorite part of the day was the BUS RIDE -- she has been waiting to ride the bus for what seems like FOREVER -- and she finally did - and loved it -- oh and she said she made a FRIEND today -- SUPER HUGE DEAL -- makenna usually doesn't talk unless she knows you pretty well -- and then when she knows you SHE DOESN'T STOP TALKING ;) -- so for her to step out of her comfort zone and make a friend on the first day is SO AWESOME - of course as a move the next words out of my mouth were - "what is your new friends name?" -- and makenna replied -- "I can't REMEMBER" heee hee ha ha -- too cute

HAWAII

So Sunday was our "trip" to Hawaii -- we didn't do a whole lot - for dinner we had Hawaiian grilled chicken over Jasmin rice - with a slice of FRESH pineapple on top - we had a fruit salad with which we served in wine glasses - the kids thought that was "FANCY" (makenna's word) and we made virgin pina colada's to drink and served them in fake coconut shells i found at target (love the $1 spot) -- Makenna LOVED the drinks -- we didn't make lei's - it was going to be a little pricey but since the kids loved HAWAII so much i am sure we will VISIT again ;)

MONDAY

Heath had to go back to work today :(
I missed him - The kids and I loaded everything up and headed for the pool - we got there only to find out it was CLOSED -- so what did we do ? -- the next best thing -- we went to grandmommy's for RICE KRISPY TREATS -- YUMMO !! -- the kids were disappointed about the pool but i am going to try to take them tommorrow -- tomorrow we have a SUPER BUSY DAY -- a birthday party - Noah's haircut - MEET the TEACHER - drop off school supplies - GO to the POOL -- cook a nice meal - get the kids to bed EARLY -- oh my - i am overwhelmed just typing --

ok -- i have to go so i can get the kids school stuff LABELED and in their back packs --

until next time
BLESSINGS :)

WONKA

Willie Wonka
Willie Wonka
da da dat dat da da da

i can't get the song out of my head

we had a great time with the kids tonight - watching Willie Wonka (the newer version with Johnny Depp) and eating a HUGE hershey bar and some PURE dark Chocolate (that stuff is kinda GOOD for YOU) ;)

Noah didn't love the PURE dark -- though he loves the SPECIAL DARK (which i am out of) so he settled for MILK CHOCOLATE

Makenna -- well what can i say - she is her mother's daughter and she enjoyed BOTH types of chocolate ;)

We all enjoyed the movie and it was fun to hang out together -- and well - eating chocolate this LATE is always a treat for them --

Now Daddy is giving baths and then off to bed -- hopefully the sugar HIGH will wear off shortly ;)

about the movie -- it was so vivid and i loved all the colors - all i could think about is how it looks like they used the ITTY BITTY ACTIONS on the inside of the factory -- you know the part with the chocolate waterfall and candy everywhere -- it was beautiful -- the music wasn't as good as the first -- at least i didn't think so -- but then again it was one of my favorite movies as a child so i am probably just more partial to it

any way makenna liked it and she calls it WILLIE WONKA 2 -- she used to have the 1st version on dvd and played it so much (and touched it too) that it had to be thrown away cause it skipped -- i should buy her another copy -- it is a good thing we have the WIZARD of OZ on VHS cause we would have gone through a dozen dvd's by now - she loves that one too

Noah told me he was SOAKIN HOT tonight -- he was sweaty from being outside and when i giggled at his comment he proceeded to tell me how
SOAKIN' was because he was wet with sweat
and HOT was because - well he was HOT
too cute


and to close - i will quote the last line of the movie

LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN SWEETER

Time FLIES

ok i can't believe it is already FRIDAY
where did the week go
Heath's VACATION is practically OVER
:(
he got called in to cover for another mgr
who had a death in the family
so he is going back to work TOMORROW (sat.)
instead of MONDAY

The kids go back to school on WEDNESDAY
I can't believe summer break is over
this will be the first year both kids will
be gone until after 3
OMGosh
i am so SAD about it
I really thought it would
be so fun for them both to be
in school and now that it is
here I am SAD -
really SAD
TEARS SAD
(not that i let the kids
see me crying about it)
but i did ask them what i
should do to keep myself
BUSY while they were away

here are some of their suggestions

* Scrapbook (my kids know me too well)
* Have lunch with my friends
* make them cookies for when they get home
* go shopping

they also assured me that they wouldn't be gone
LONG and that they didn't HAVE TO GO ON WEEKENDS

TOO SWEET !!!

i am pretty sure i am going to look for a part time job
matter of fact - i am CERTAIN i will do so -- maybe
someplace i can get a DISCOUNT -- like Old NAVY
or GAP - ?? hobby lobby ?? just something 3 days a week
or so from 8:30ish to 3??

TAGGED

If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be?
someplace warm most of the year -- around 80 degrees ???

What's your favorite article of clothing? i still love to wear scrubs (even though i am no longer attending college to be an RN- that is still on HOLD)

Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? Eyes or Lips

What's the last CD that you bought? U2 (downloaded day before yesterday)

Where's your favorite place to be? at HOME

Where's your least favorite place to be? waiting in a doctors office or waiting anywhere for that matter - i am not a patient one

What's your favorite place to be massaged? back or neck

Strong in mind or strong in body? wish i could say both but i am probably at my WORST ever physically so i will go with MIND

What time do you wake in the morning? about 9 a.m. but i only have 6 more days before the kids go back to school EEEK

What's your favorite kitchen appliance? SELF CLEANING oven -- it is the only thing that kinda cleans up after itself in my house so what is not to LOVE

What makes you really angry? Not sticking to the PLAN -- i am such a planner -- i would say to a FAULT

If you could play any instrument, what would it be? Piano.

Favorite color? RED

Which do you prefer, sports car or SUV? i would normally say SUV but with gas as high as it is now i am going with a tiny sports car

Do you believe in afterlife? HEAVEN -- YES

Favorite children's book? I love the Monster at the end of the book -- the golden book about GROVER -- i loved it as a kid -- i should buy it for my kids

What is your favorite season? SUMMER -- but I LOVE the FALL in Houston -- it is kinda like a mild SUMMER in most places ;)

What's your least favorite household chore? MOPPING -- i have about 1000 square feet to mop downstairs and i HATE it (that doesn't count my 2.5 bathrooms)

If you could have one super power, what would it be? to make MONEY -- only because i am about to have to start looking for a part time job

If you have a tattoo, what is it? NOPE no tattoos

Can you juggle? Not very well.

The one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to? My little boy who passed away 10 years ago

What's your favorite day? I am gonna say TUESDAY -- just cause Mondays are usually crazy ???

What's in the trunk of your car? Righ now there is POOL STUFF a few NOODLES and several pair of googles

Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger? have to say BURGERS - haven't ever tried SUSHI

NOW, if you're reading this, consider yourself TAGGED. Copy & paste the questions into your blog and tag your friends! :)

in better spirits today

i am in better spirits today
trying not to dwell on the past

i do wonder if the rejection feels
as bad every time a scrapper submits
to a call or if it is just that THIS time
it was my FIRST time and it was SO PERSONAL
MY message board - MY kit club - a place
that made me feel like FAMILY

so if you have been published or have been on
a design team i would LOVE to hear from you
????did you get a little sad when you got your
first NO ???? how did you feel when you got your
2nd and 3rd -- how many times did you try before
you thought about GIVING UP and not submitting
(not that i would ever quit scrapbooking - but what
if i submit to 100 calls and never get picked for any
of them) :0(

i just want to be realistic -- i have a certain NUMBER
in mind - and i am thinking i will submit to that many calls
and then if i am not picked for any of them i will just go back
to being CONTENT with sharing my pages with my FAMILY
It sounds like a good plan ??? Right???

again I would LOVE to hear feedback from others

BUMMER

i didn't make it
everything i said i wouldn't feel
I DO FEEL
trying to stay positive
but it is so hard

part of me thinks YOU SUCK
and you should never submit anything
ever again -- and then the POSITIVE
side says -- get up - dust yourself off -
and have another go at it

it reminds me of a time when i was bucked off
my horse (Dutchess) and my dad wouldn't let
me just go up to the house
HE MADE ME GET BACK ON
he knew if i walked away there was a good
chance i wouldn't ride again
at the time i didn't really understand
but my dad knew what he was doing
he made sure i was OK and then with
tears in my eyes i climbed back into the saddle

So tonight I am again a little sad - I LOVE TSR
and really thought I found a place that would be
a perfect fit -- but i am gonna dust myself off and try again


CONGRATS TO ALL THE LADIES WHO DID MAKE IT
TO THE NEXT ROUND -- GO GET EM

TSR Design TEAM

Ok today is the day
Tammy at TSR is going to announce the finalists for the design team -- this is the first time i have ever submitted anything to anyone -- i am anxious to find out if i made it to the next round -- my stomach is totally spinning --- i am trying to think positively but at the same time if I am not choosen then i know the timing just isn't right and I did create 3 layouts that i love -- so that is something to CELEBRATE!!!


I will post as soon as the list is up

wish me luck!!!

08-06-06 Layout

SNEAK PEAK
here is a layout i did for an upcoming TSR challenge
I will post the challenge on TSR on Aug 13th

www.scrap-room.com

08-05-06

and if the picture doesn't give it away today included MORE SCHOOL SHOPPING -- trying to find the school supplies that didn't get yesterday - (some were sold out) - and buying CLOTHES and SHOES for the kids --

IT WAS TAX FREE WEEKEND HERE

so i made the most of it and got almost all the things on the list (doing a very good job of sticking to my list) i still need 2 shirts - 2 pair of shorts -and a pair of sneakers for noah - (i only found him 2 shirts and 1 pair of shorts today) and for makenna i need 1 shirt and a pair of cute brown shoes -- as for school supplies there are a few random things - like a light blue pocket folder ???? i have seen a ton of regular blue but NO light blue - then there are some specific notebooks for noah that i haven't found anywhere -- (today i visited Palais Royal - Old Navy - 2 Targets - 2 Wal Marts)


Thankfully (for me and the kids) they didn't have to go SHOPPING today - they decide after our trip to wal mart yesterday that they were totally ok with me picking out their school clothes -- So since Heath is now on VACATION (yeah!!!) he took the kids to see BARNYARD - which Noah thought was hilarious -- they also went to Marble Slab Creamery -- YUM YUM i must admit i was a little JEALOUS

and to treat myself since i selflessly missed a movie and Marble Slab ice cream - i drove about 30 minutes out of my way to my FAVORITEST scrapbook store -- I deserved it, RIGHT?? especially when you think about how much money i saved us today (tax free weekend) and not to mention the only items i spent over $10 on were the kids' jeans and they were only $15 at Old Navy -- I love to look for BARGINS -- (bargin shopping means more money for OTHER things)

here is a pic of some GOODIES i got at my not so local scrapbook store - it is MARIDAWN's i love that place (even though i have to drive to KATY) they have so much GREAT STUFF it is worth it -- anyway - i was a good girl and spent a little over 23 bucks and got some great STUFF -- love those JUNKITZ FLOWERZ -- Yum YUM

8-05-06 a RAK from MARTHA / xpetunia

today i found this in my MAILBOX -- OMGosh -- i was totally stoked -- Martha is TOO SWEET -- thank you sooooo much -- love ya girl --

8-4-06 SCHOOL SUPPLIES

Ok this totally boggles my mind - every year there seems to be another off beat item added to the school supply list -- this year it was A REAM OF XEROX COPY PAPER (wouldn't that be considered office supplies for the school to purchase?) -- but others have been dry erase markers - instant hand sanitizer -- i don't mean to COMPLAIN and i know our teachers work incredibly hard for what little money they do get paid - and i wouldn't want them to spend all of their hard earned money on EXTRAS - but if the list keeps growing at this rate I won't be able to AFFORD the kids school supplies when they are in high school --

ok so anyway - the kids and i went out to buy SCHOOL SUPPLIES and we went to WAL MART - we were there for 2 hours in the same 4 aisles -- IT WAS INSANE and the sad thing is i couldn't find every thing on there lists --- URGGG.......

pics

this is the bag Steph sent me
it is so cool - i added some scrap
stuff so you could get a feel for what
it will look like when i carry it to a crop
or something --

back side of the bag

altered note book Steph sent
card heidiQ made me

RAK (magazine) +++ extras from heidiQ

am I blessed or what -- thanks again girls -- lovin my goodies

SHAME ON ME

i haven't been blogging much lately
SHAME ON ME
so thought i would do a little RECAP

little brother came to town on FRIDAY stayed till SUNDAY

Monday - cleaned house (a little) - did some laundry - looked at our budget - got all the bills together - paid a few - STRESSED about $$ - $$ totally stinks -- it always seems like you could use a little more - then a little more - more - more -- UGH .... -- we discussed me going back to work again - then discussed maybe going back to one vehicle again (we did this for 3 years before the kids were in school- blah blah blah

Tuesday -mid morning -Makenna had a dr. apt with PEDITRICIAN
Tuesday after lunch Noah had an appt with a new NEUROLOGIST (nothing new just a confirmation of Tourette Syndrome)
didn't get home until after 5 pm - that is HOUSTON traffic for ya-- so thankfully my mother in-law made enough spagetti for us ALL -- Yes - she is a LIFE SAVER - kids stayed the night at her house -- i had a headache and went home to take some Rx -- Heath had poker night

Wednesday had to enroll Makenna in school
THAT TOOK ALL MORNING

also trying to get all of Noah's testing and modifications in place for the school year -- since we moved and Noah will be at a new school - he has to be tested --- which is difficult because Tourette Syndrome is kind of tricking that way -- in many aspects of his learning he is totally ADVANCED but with anything that involves his motor skills (such as WRITING) he needs modifications -- and writing pretty much translates to ALL SUBJECTS --- He is SOO SMART - - but he struggles with getting the correct answer from his brain - through his hand - and onto the paper -- now if he TELLS you the answer -- he makes all A's but when he is pressured to write it out - he struggles --- so it is important to work on his writing but at the same time test him in other ways -- We changed this up last year and it made a WORLD OF A DIFFERENCE -- i just hope and pray that this school and his new teacher will be as helpful as the last -- oops -- sorry for the tangent there -- just what is on my brain -on with what we have been up too
STILL WEDNESDAY
the kids and I ran to hobby lobby (didn't buy a DARN THING for myself) not sure if that is good or bad but right now it seems BAD
stopped a CHICK FIL A
came home FINALLY 1:30 pm --
had phone calls with the school and with my doctor --
load of laundry
made some tea (skipped coffee this a.m. ) --
totally regretting that later in the day
had to pay a few bills by PHONE (they were to close to mail and who wants to by stamps anyway)
oh and i must say that i would have PAID THEM ONLINE HAD MY INTERNET / CABLE / DIGITAL PHONE all been WORKING ?????
had an awesome mail day - RAK from HeidiQ she was sending me a magazine and when i opened it there were lots of EXTRAS
and I also got
a SURPRISE GIFT for no reason from Steph (homegrown hospitality) she sent me a killer bag -- and a cute altered note pad -- THANK YOU LADIES -- YOU R 2 SWEET
oh and i scrapped a little last night

Today -- which is Thursday RIGHT?? -- i can't even remember anymore
i have been trying to get caught up on emails and computer stuff - need to pay some more bills -- laundry still to do - need to run the dishwasher -
clean up some --

BUT THE BESTEST NEWS IS my kids are wanting to move their toys out of the "playroom" back into their bedrooms and if Heath agrees to this -- it means i get to have my SCRAPROOM/ OFFICE BACK ---

YEAH!!!!!!!

and i must say --- i didn 't even ask them to Makenna came to me with the idea and Noah agreed -- i think they get overwhelmed with the BIG ROOM and make a BIG MESS and don't want to have to clean it - their rooms are much smaller and more managable
MORE ON THIS TO COME

Guest

Sorry I haven't posted much lately
My little brother (ok so he isn't LITTLE any more - almost 21 - and sadly he is about a foot taller than me too) has come to visit for a few days - he and dh went to an ASTROS game with a friend -- and i am here with the kids -- so i thought i would jump online and blog real quick --

Now I love my STROS so normally i would probably COMPLAIN about missing the game (and i did just a little) but on a positive note I DIDN'T have to COOK
HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

but i will say that TRENT -- you totally owe me a night out at the ball park - ;0) hee hee

maybe i can get some good pics of my brother while he is here -- and if it is ok with him i will share them with all of YOU--

more next week
bye for now

Vacation Plans

ok -- here are some of the destinations i thought of -- well.... err...um....I thought of some of them and then you helped me with some ;0)

Hawaii
Australia
China
Camping
Italy

I am hoping to go to the library and check out videos for ALL the Places (except camping)

for Hawaii i want to get lays (sp?) or make some and have cute fruit slushy drinks with umbrellas - maybe teach the kids how to hulla dance - and we could watch - LILO and STITCH

For Australia -- I NEED SOME HELP WITH dinner ideas and pretty much the whole thing (dinner / activity / movie)-- my son has said that when he grows up he is going to Work in Australia with Steve the Crocodile Hunter - this started when he was about 2-3 and now that he is 7 he still plans to work there. SO AUSTRALIA IS A MUST FOR OUR VACATION

for China
i am thinking we could order in CHINESE -- YUM or go to our fav place - china view -- if we eat in i am thinking we could all sit on pillows around the coffee table -- ???? i need some help with an activity and a movie

Camping -- we will set up a tent in the living room
eat burgers/hotdogs from the grill and have smores' -- not sure about the Activity unless we make the smores the activity?? and I need a MOVIE

Italy
ok not sure if i should do pizza or pasta and meatballs -- we could make fresh bread (my kids love that) Still need an Activity and a MOVIE ---
maybe for the activity i could buy a bunch of grapes like in the old lucy shows and let the kids stomp them to make "wine" ???

Would so love to hear some input on this as we are pretty much about what -- uhh --- 2 weeks away --- i want to try to borrow all the stuff from the library this next week

SO PLEASE HELLLLLLLLLPPPP!

;0)

Hurry up and WAIT

this was my day today
HURRY up and WAIT

hurry up to get ready for my doctor's appt. only to find I needed to reschedule it until later in the day

hurry up to get to said doctor's appt. only to wait -- i seriously wanted to take a nap while i waited in the exam room for the doctor -- DOES ANYONE ELSE EVER WANT TO DO THAT -- really how often do you find yourself in a QUIET - CLEAN environment such as that -- now if they would just stock the rooms with pillows and blankets i would have been all set --

anyway i think the doctor forgot about me or something cause i waited for a long time and then when he came in he was apologetic and stuff -- WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT -- totally sensing a "oops i messed up" man vibe ---

OK so to make up for my UN PRODUCTIVE DAY - i am going to scrap like CRAZY tonight -- i am soooo excited

Hope everyone is having a BLESSED DAY

another layout

ok this will probably ;)
be the last one i post today
i can't seem to help it all i want to
do is scrapbook lately

Layout

Layout

Layout

WOW -- i can still do it

WOW -- I can Still do it.....


Stay up ALL NIGHT that is

not that i was really trying but i watched a super FREAKY movie last night at my sister in law's house and i was a little scared so i scrapbooked last night

fyi -- the hills have eyes - is a really scary movie

now it is about 7 am and i am thinking it is going to be one heck of a day -- I am hoping to get SO MUCH STUFF DONE with my EARLY START ;)

i am guessing i will probably need a little nap though :0)

help me plan a VACATION

OK -- so here is the deal -- we can't go on a REAL vacation so i want to do a MOCK VACATION at home - here is what i am picturing -- 5 days of pretend locations
CAMPING -- setting up the tent in the living room and making smores and stuff???
HAWAII -- wearing the flowers in our hair (girls only) and having little drinks with umbrellas -- hula dancing

SO HELP ME COME UP WITH SOME OTHER fun things for Heath and I to do with the kids (CHEAP$$ things) and i need some other places for us to "travel" to as well

Praise the LORD

and i don't mean that sarcasticly either
i am doing some serious
REJOICING here in Houston today

?- why you ask-?

because we now have a/c upstairs
-- after 6 days with all of us
crammed together in one of 3 rooms -
kitchen
dinning room
family room
we can spread out a little and
enjoy a little quite time -- the
kids were so happy they could
go upstairs and play in the play
room - they played for at least
an hour without a peep - I had
to come up here to check on
them -cause you know kids
when they are that quite - that
means they are usually up to
something- but they surprised
me this time and when i came
upstairs i just sort of watched
them play together for a few
minutes - it was SUPER
FANTASTIC-- and i am so
exciting to finally get the
blankets, pillows, and
mattress OUT OF THE
FAMILY ROOM -- it has
been driving me bonkers

So TODAY i would say i am
so thankful for a COOL house

THANK YOU ERIN

my dear sweet friend sent me these today - THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL -- and she really shouldn't have - but i greatly appreciate it -- and they came at the perfect time -- i had taken the kids out to run errands - had to get my nephew (almost 2) a birthday present -- had to get my circle journal (hobby lobby has albums and refills at 1/2 off right now) and I was stressed because the kids kept YELLING IN THE CAR (or talking on HIGH- it felt like they were screaming in my ear)-- i had a horrible headache - i was a little SHORT FUSED and on edge to say the least and then with today being, well, you know - things weren't going so well -- we got trapped at hobby lobby for about an hour because IT WAS POURING DOWN so now it is almost 5pm and i still needed to go to the grocery store - so at that point i decided we were not getting groceries today- we stopped at chick-fil-a for take out and as i pulled up into the driveway i saw this BIG LONG BOX by the front door -- I WAS SO SURPRISED -- and it really did make me feel better - (i still have a headache but the roses smell LOVELY) :)
THANK YOU ERIN -- Perfect timing
And thanks the LORD for blessing me with friends as sweet as mine

Broken

I read Jody's Blog this morning and it just really stuck with me

http://www.jodyferlaak.blogspot.com/
here was my comment to her post:
I think my brokeness is what finally brought me to a place were I HAD to believe in GOD -- I wanted to - I wanted to put all my trust in HIM - and I think HE knew I would never REALLY let HIM in my life until I was TRUELY BROKEN -


So I won't lie - TODAY- right this minute - I am feeling selfish - today I really wish my son was here - BUT I am trying to focus on the fact that he is in a much better place -- HE IS WITH OUR LORD IN HEAVEN -- and I will see him again -- (that last part always makes me smile) :0)
and setting around crying my eyes out isn't going to help anyone so today I am going to dust myself off (or shower ;)
and I AM GOING TO LIVE - I AM GOING TO LOVE- AND I AM GOING TO LAUGH -

10 years

10 years seems like forever - yet tonight while i look over some of my son's things it can also seem like a split second --

I would like to THANK YOU ALL for reading my story - I hope that as you go you will take a little piece of Aasin with you - and maybe sit down and play barbies or legos with your little one - Our life on this Earth is far to short to go RUSHING through and tomorrow is not guaranteed - so take time today to share your favorite color with your child and find out what theirs is.

Many Blessings to YOU and YOURS

In CHRIST

Shawnna

Aasin (pictures)

what kind of mother would i be if i didn't post a few baby pictures - so here you go

part 3 of the story

I remember the doctors saying that the next 24 hours will determine a lot -- THEY WERE SO RIGHT -- things seemed to be looking better they were going to let us see him -- they tried to prepare me before they took me to the NICU -- they said that he is swollen and he will look different than what i am used to -- I didn't really understand what they were saying until i saw him - they were right - he didn't look the same - and he was still being sedated - they let us stay with him except while they were doing tests - they began preparing us for what may happen - if he recovered he could need therapy and they were unsure what type of injuries he would have - while putting in the shunt he suffered a stroke and could be permenatly brain damaged -- or not - it was to early to tell - anyway we had spoke to family members and several were preparing to come and stay with me at the hospital for 1 week shifts - I remember praying and telling God that I was prepared to stay as long as i needed to - that we would figure out a way- if only he would spare my son from any permenate damage -

after a while they said i should go back down to the er for the rest of the x-rays while he was stable - my mother went with me and my father stayed in the NICU - we finished up in the ER and went back to the NICU - my father was in the waiting room with his head in his hands and i remember feeling that something wasn't right - he looked up and he had been crying -- he said they rushed Aasin in for another test and that his brain was swelling again - We waited for what seemed like an eternity -

Praying - Waiting -
Waiting - Praying -

I remember them taking us to a conference room -- i thought they wanted to discuss further treatment or something -- i was confused -- it was an off white room with a long rectangled table - lots of grey chairs - they sat on one side of the table and my mother - father and i on the other - when they started talking it didn't seem real - they said that his brain had swollen and cut off the blood and oxygen supply - they said he was brain dead - they said there was nothing more that they could do - they seemed so detached and unreal - like they were reading off a bunch of numbers and not really talking TO ME but AT ME -- I remember feeling rage -- that they COULD do something but they weren't - i remember being so emotional and my parents trying to calm me down -- it seemed like i was not in my own body - not in control - like i was watching myself loose it from the ceiling or something -- surreal -- They said that i had to make a decision about the life support - that if i left him on it his body would slowing shut down - beginning with one organ on to the next - and then the next --

I made the decision to take him off of life support - they let me hold him for awhile before they turned off the machines and unhooked everything - i continued to hold him afterward for as long as i could - i remember telling him how much I loved him and how sorry I was -- how EVERYONE love him -- i remember singing every song I could think of while i rocked him -- this would be the last time i would ever rock him to sleep again - i remember them coming in to listen for a heartbeat -- they nodded their head but i already knew he was gone -- i continued to stay with him -- i couldn't bear to leave him there without me - i remember feeling the coldness of his body wrapped in the tiny hospital blanket - the nurses said i could have a few more minutes with him and i just sobbed - i had never felt that kind of pain -- my heart hurt and it felt like it had moved into my throat -- they came to take him from me and i felt like i dying inside -

in less that 18 hours my life had come unraveled - i was alone - and my heart was shattered - I wish i could say that this was the point in my life were i turned to GOD - were I began to have a personal relationship with him -- but it wasn't - because you see at this point i felt even more ashamed than ever - I had made the decision to take my son to TX - instead of leaving him with my mother -- I had made the decision to go ahead with the plans even though i had second thoughts about it while we were at dinner and Aasin was fussing - I had decided to not ask D to pull the car over while i nursed him in the back seat. ALL CHOICES I MADE - I felt that my sinful life had brought this upon myself --

This were i say, thankfully "I WAS WRONG "

I didn't know the salvation that I later found (THANK YOU Brother Roger and Judy Ratliff from Vansickle Baptist Church) I didn't know the FREE GIFT of eternal life

"For the wages of sin is death, but the FREE GIFT of GOD is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 6:23

i had convinced myself that i could never do enough good to erase all the sin i had commited - all the poor choices -- but the truth is NONE of us DESERVE to have a relationship with Christ -- but he allows us to anyway -- that is how much he loves us

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be SAVED through Him." John 3:16-17

I was baptized in front of my husband and my two children in 2002 and my relationship with Christ continues to grow today -- I am not perfect now that i am a "CHRISTIAN" nor will I ever be -- but you see that is the beauty of my relationship with Christ - He knows I am not perfect and He knows I will continue to mess up - but He is helping me to be a better person THROUGH HIM - and i am so thankful that some people (my husband included) took the time to explain that to me - (and were patient while i took the time to BELIEVE IT)

If there is a void in your life I urge you to turn to Christ to fill that for you - He is calling your name and he wants to have a relationship with you- I would love to help you make the decision to proclaim Jesus as your Lord and Savior and ask Him into your life - to ask Him to forgive you for your sins no matter how BIG or small - He can and He will -- all you have to do is BELIEVE. I would love to answer any questions for you -- NOT THAT i know it all - but i am resourceful and if i can't find the answer in the Bible for you I will find someone who can help me

thank you for sticking around for my story - there are some gaps in it but i plan to fill those with time -- Many BLESSINGS to you all

In Christ
Shawnna




all verses from the New American Standard version -- it is so much easier for me to read

Part 2 (continued story)

ok after i re read my last post i thought that it was important to say that at this time i didn't have a close relationship with Christ -- I was raised Catholic and i (an unwed teenager) went to church with my son (and my momma of course) but i didn't know that I COULD have a relationship with HIM- I felt ashamed and unworthy of GOD's love - i often wondered if he would ever forgive me for the sins i had commited and i tried to think of things i could do to make up for all the wrong i had done.

BOY WAS I SOOOOO WRONG -- more on that to come at the end of the story

anyway i said all that to start tonights post here -- July 19 1996 - the day before the wreck -- i was supposed to be going to meet my boyfriend's mother*we will call her D* (she is now my mother in law) for the first time - his sister *M* and i (with my son) were going to their other sister *C's* baby shower in TX on the following day - Heath (then boyfriend now husband) was on a mission trip in Mexico and was going to meet us in TX with his dad the following day - *hope that all makes sense*
anyway we were going to be leaving VERY early - like 4 am or so - so i was going to stay the night with them at M's house.

I remember my mom telling me i should just let Aasin stay with her - but i wasn't having it - there was now way i was going to leave him for the night - so not my style - if i wasn't working - we were together - I took care of my son and i enjoyed it - So i brushed her off and said NO and left to go to M's house (future sister in law) -

I remember going out to eat and Aasin seemed so fussy - i nursed him a little - I remember Heath's mother being so kind and holding him- i remember how we were setting at the table - the linens the decor - even in my mind it still seems so fresh and real -- I remember being embarrased that he was being so fussy - and feeling like maybe i was ruining their meal -- and wondering what she thought -

we went back to M's house and visited a little and we went to bed - We woke up so early -- loaded everything up and got on the road -- it was a 3-4 hour trip - things went smoothly we all kept each other company - D drove and M and her daughter sat up front - Aasin and I were in the back seat - Aasin slept almost the whole way -- I remember us talking about stopping at the IHOP for breakfast -- it had to be at least 7:30 or so -- I remember Aasin waking up - I remember thinking we were almost there so i would go ahead and feed him while we were in the car - he nursed for a while and i burped him and switched sides -- he was in a much happier mood today -- I was thankful for that - smiling and playing with his little chubby feet while he ate -- I sat him up to burp him again we went over some railroad tracks and shortly after we were slowing down -- i looked out the windshield and i saw the stop light turn green and D went to turn right at the intersection

-- CRASH --

i never saw it coming - not in my periphial vision -- NOTHING -- i remember the sound of metal on metal - i remember trying to hold onto my son as we were slammed around inside of the car - i remember trying to figure out what had just happened - I remember the air bags everywhere in the front of the car -- i remember M's daughter crying -- i checked my son -- looked at him - his head - his mouth - his belly -- everywhere -- the only blood i saw was in his mouth on his gums -- it looked like he was cutting teeth and when he bit down he kind of nicked his bottom gums maybe -- i remember thinking -- it is going to be ok -- Please Lord let everyone be ok -- Let everyone in the other vehicle be ok --
my first instinct was we needed to go to the hospital - i didn't know where we were - i wasn't familiar with the town (heath's family was from the area) I didn't know where the nearest hospital was but we needed to get there -- we flagged down a car that drove me , Aasin , and M to the hospital - which thankfully was less than 5 minutes away -- i remember the drive there -- i remember him starting to fall asleep and trying to keep him awake - i remember M giving him cpr -- he was going in and out --

i remember going into the automatic doors at the hospital and as i handed him to the nurse i saw it - the huge bump on his head close to his ear -- they took him to the back and i wasn't allowed in -- they wouldn't let me stay with him -- i didn't know how serious it was but by the frantic way everyone was rushing around it didn't seem good - i used the payphone to call my mother - my dad was at work so she would have to call and have him tracked down and they would be on the way --

they kept trying to get me to be seen by a dr. as well -- i said i wasn't hurt and the nurse said you are bleeding - with all the chaos i didn't even know - i looked down and saw blood on my shirt and felt my face -- still saying i am not hurt i will be fine - and please let me be with my baby -

they finally said they were going to life flight him to childrens medical in dallas -I called and told my parents and they said they would get there as soon as they could - they let me see him before they sedated him - and as i walked into the room - i saw him with the tubes in his mouth and he tried to cry out for me but he couldn't -- the nurses were telling me that it was a good sign that he recognized me - i remember being by his side when his tiny body relaxed and kissing him and telling him i would be there with him as soon as i could be - they wouldn't let me ride in the helicopter - and i needed to go with him -- i had to be with my son -- the car was totaled - some people from the town offered to drive me to the childrens medical center in dallas --

it was about an hour drive - and i remember starting to feel the pain on the trip there -- i don't really remember the whole trip but when we got there they wouldn't let me see him and they made me get checked out in the er -- i remember being on a bed in the hall with a brace for my neck and back -- i was there for hours - i kept asking for someone to take me to my son at childrens and they said i had to be cleared in the er first before i could go -- i waited and waited - i remeber a dr. coming to ask me if he could put a shunt in my sons head - his little brain was swelling and they needed to be able to gauge the pressure - i remember asking him the risks and benefits of the shunt and i remember feeling overwhelmed - wishing my mom was there - i gave them permission and signed the documents - and he told me he would keep me posted on aasin's condition and that they were doing more tests and that even if i was cleared from the er i wouldn't be able to see him until he was stable.

I remember having lots of x -rays and waiting in the hall on the bed -- i remember my parents getting there - i remember hearing their voices while i was on the bed -- it seemed liked things sped up at that point - they wouldn't let me leave yet but my dad went to the NICU - i got some stitches in my nose and they finally let me leave to go to the NICU -- i just had to come back down later for some more x rays -

for a long time we were in the waiting room -- i remember the way it looked -- it had these huge aquariums with tropical fish -- i remember when they finally let us go in and be with him -- finally he was stable -- in critical condition but stable - i remember praying - praying - and praying - Lord please let my son recover from this Lord Please -- Hail Mary's - I must have said hundreds if not thousands - Our Father's -- i was reciting every prayer i had ever learned -

STOP STORY

ok - it is 2am here and i am physically and mentally exhausted - i will continue this in a day or two - sorry - too much for one sitting - to much for one lifetime it seems - i will return - thank you again for your patience